When you rush into the room with a morsel of juicy gossip, or to relay a fraught tale of tactical manoeuvring at work, does he give you a bland look that leaves you wondering if he cares about you at all?
We often associate autism with difficulty reading non-verbal cues, but Mc Donagh says autistic men can struggle to put on the kind of face that expresses surprise, happiness or engagement.
Yeah, well, that’s me. A few years back someone suggested that I am a high functioning autistic. Do I get a prize?
The reality being much more mundane. Some of us are just introverts who can’t be fussed with all this social stuff and find it dreary.
If he tries to wriggle out of any kind of group get-together and appears glum and grumpy when you force him to attend it might be that he doesn’t particularly like your friends, but if he’s autistic, it’s more likely that he struggles with the unpredictability and sensory overload of being in a busy social environment.
‘Many autistic people find noisy pubs and restaurants very stressful,’ says Mc Donagh. ‘They might be super-sensitive to strong smells and can also become stressed and agitated by the idea of unstructured, unpredictable situations where people are expected to mingle and chat.’
Yes, maybe he just doesn’t like them. Maybe, like me, he just doesn’t like crowds and loud noises. There’s no need to pathologize it.
‘Autistic men will often find small talk fiendishly difficult and if they sense a conversation is required will prefer to get on to one of their favoured topics,’ says Mc Donagh. ‘The problem is, an autistic man can become so fixated on his favourite topic he will be impervious to interruptions, and will resolutely refuse to stop until he’s finished.’
Um… Yeah, I do that, too. I’ll talk about what I know. I suspect most people do. Mostly, though, I’ll find a quiet corner and sit it out until I can go home.
All of this cack is just observing that we have different personalities. But now they are pathologizing normal behaviour. I’m not autistic, I’m just reserved and fussy about the company I keep – the less of it, the better.
It’s not just me, then?
That kind of dismantling of everyday behaviour is just trainspotting, ticking off another victim to justify your own biases.
I don’t think I’m autistic. I just don’t give a shit
Seems to me that the author satisfies his own definition of ‘autistic’ – bet he’s a bundle of laughs at a party.
Not that I’ll get to know, I won’t be there because I’m just a miserable twat. Bah humbug.
me too.
I know a little more than most about this because my nephew is quite severely autistic. He is moderately high functioning but has a lot of quite bizarre personality traits. He is also a talented artist. I’ve known a few other people who are less far down the spectrum and, because I have encountered said nephew, I tend to recognise the traits.
I’m really quite outgoing but I do enjoy being alone sometimes too. I don’t seem to have any autistic traits apart from being quite happy to do seemingly tedious jobs. At work we would have an annual stock take of tens of thousands of spare parts and I would be quite content counting hundreds of little widgets and writing the quantities down.
From the article headline “…Experts say there could be a surprising reason… and it’s coming to light about so many men”
Or perhaps rushing into the room with a morsel of juicy gossip, or to relay a fraught tale of tactical manoeuvring at work for the feels is true of so many women? I note that the author of the article is a woman (probably) so perhaps her ‘expectations’ are biased?
She’s describing men. Pretty much all men are on ‘the spectrum’ (which is more of a field, to me). And what she’s really saying is that all men are a sort of defective form of woman. It is beyond some of them to understand that natural selection got us to this circumstance for a reason.
I have no personal friends and I’m happy that way. Am I on the spectrum? Possibly, but so what? I wouldn’t take a pill or any other treatment to change who I am.
Siff upper lip vs trembling lower lip perhaps?
I’m quite introverted too, but I don’t have a problem with small talk, just small talk with fuckwits.