Katy Guest has a problem with how people address her.
I blame Ask Jeeves, whose new survey claims to prove that people hate being addressed by their first names by strangers. In fact, the survey of 1,000 adults found that the over-60s were most likely to be annoyed by first name terms, with only 33 per cent of them preferring Mr, Mrs or Miss.
I’m one of them. I don’t much care for over familiarity when being addressed by a stranger. If they ask whether they may use my given name, then I’m amenable as happened at the physiotherapist this morning. She asked how I preferred to be addressed and given the nature of the transaction, I felt that first names was fine.
Clearly, Ms Guest prefers first name terms, which would be fine, but…
The same thing happened when I took my car for an MOT at a well-known quick fitter’s. “Are you Mrs or Miss?” asked the young man filling in my form. “No”, I replied. “Does my marital status make a difference to the performance of my carburettor?” He didn’t know.
At which point any sympathy from me evaporates. The poor chap was merely doing his job, belittling and humiliating him because he asked a civil question in a civil manner is the height of bad manners – Ms was probably not on the form. My somewhat tart response would be to advise Ms Guest that when addressing me, it would be Mr Longider from now on, if you please…
While I can be mildly irritated when people stick an unnecessary “i” in my name, I don’t get too excited about it. I might correct them, I might not. As men don’t have a Miss, Mrs, Ms issue, I don’t get exercised by it, but then neither does Mrs L who is happy to use Mrs as she was happy to use Miss when she was single. Mrs L never was and never will be a Ms. Nor would she make a pedantic fuss over it with some poor sap merely doing his job.
Every time I called with my name and order number, someone would ring back and ask for Mrs Guest. “She’s not here!” I would tell them. They refused to use the title “Ms”.
Well, if you behave like an adolescent arsehole, don’t be too surprised when things don’t go as you would like them to.
Ms Guest will, of course, be one of those who think it terribly witty to call George Osborne ‘Gideon’ yet take offence if we mistakenly misaddress them.
I’m glad you mentioned this as I’m confused (as with most things today, I have to admit) so can you please explain.
These titles, in addition to being methods of civil and polite address, are descriptive of a ‘status’ of a sort, are they not?
Master used to indicate a young man
Mr (Mister) indicates a gentleman (now of any age or marital status)
Mrs. indicates a lady who is married.
Miss indicates either a young and/or as yet unmarried lady (or never depending on her choice).
So what exactly ‘is’ a Ms? Someone confused about their gender or just a female who’s recognised the fact that due to lack of personality/level of obnoxiousness/general porkine level of attractiveness that no-one will ever propose matrimony?
I’d really like to know (although guessing ‘Ms’ Guest is the latter)
Ms is used by those who object to being defined by marriage status. I always felt that the French Madame was a good alternative, but French feminists don’t like their mademoiselle which is used for girls below marriageable age. Frankly, some folk are never happy.
I don’t care much what people prefer to call themselves, but behaving like an adolescent as Ms Guest did isn’t the approach. If she wants her fridge delivered, saying that “Mrs Guest isn’t in” is just plain stupidity. All she has to do is politely point out that she is Ms Guest and people will make the necessary adjustment.
The very definition of #firstworldproblems!
The ones that really piss me off are the cold callers who are selling something I don’t want but come on like I’m a long lost friend. I don’t hugely mind being called by my first name (after all the caller has it there in front of his face along with my address and tele number). But what really pisses me off is that they tell me their name is Kevin or Giles, when their accent tells me they are located on the Indian Sub Continent, and extemely unlikely to be named either, then they ask me how I am!
I usually answer… Extremely Pissed off now, thank you very much! And put the phone down.
Who writes the scripts for these jokers? What makes them think that a flat out lie in the first sentence is going to induce me to buy whatever goddam crap they are trying to offload?
So instead of Ms half-wit gently correcting the contact person regarding her term of address, she goes without a service she has already paid for? Am I correct in my interpretation? Sheesh.
As for cold callers – I too find the cold shoulder works best.
Yup, you are correct. Instead of politely correcting their term of address, she told them the person they were asking for wasn’t in and then complained because they wouldn’t talk to her. Stupid cow.
The thing that pisses me off is people that continually use your name during conversation…. 🙄