Men, that is. Over in Guardianland, it is always men’s fault – especially if we are Caucasian, but that’s another matter. The latest whine comes from Barbara Ellen on how we evil men are controlling women’s fertility. The whole thing is a pathetic misandrist whinge, but let’s look at a couple of the gems…
In my opinion that one-third is an underestimate. Even not finding the right man often turns out to be a euphemism for: “I met him, I spent years with him, but ultimately, he wouldn’t have children.” Put bluntly, many of these women at their fertile peak didn’t refuse anything, their men did.
Like it or not, this is how men influence female fertility and, ultimately, female infertility. The mere thought is enough to inspire feminist panic: women, not men, should control their fertility. Who could disagree? It’s also true that some women don’t want children, period. And yet how many of us have met (or even been) the thirty-fortysomething, forced to abandon a long relationship because the man wouldn’t start a family?
Oh my word, what a jet-stream of arse dribble. We do not affect fertility at all. Refusing to father children has no effect on the woman’s fertility – she remains as fertile as she was before. If a man says he doesn’t want children at the beginning of the relationship, then perhaps that is the time to walk away. Expecting him to change that opinion is itself the height of selfishness – the assumption that one can change a partner to mould them into the desired shape. That’s bloody selfish. Some men do give in and reluctantly agree to fathering children because their partner decides that the biological clock is ticking and perhaps she feels differently now. Fine – joint decision, but bear in mind who had to compromise.
If, on the other hand he decides that, actually, “no” still means “no”, then he is merely being consistent. Leaving him at this stage is a personal decision, but to blame him for still not wanting children is misplaced. He is not the one being selfish here.
It only becomes unfair, verging on selfish, when men keep such insights to themselves for too long. These are the time-wasters, what I’d term the fertility-drifters, who think nothing of keeping women dangling for years on end.
Really? And these are? Oh, yeah, that’s right, they reside in Ellen’s fertile imagination where everything is the fault of teh horrible menz. Out here in the real world most people decide for themselves whether and when to have children and get on with it – and those of us who decided not, were clear about it from the outset and have remained consistent ever since.
We have no need for a get Britain Fertile Campaign as there are plenty of people breeding like there’s no tomorrow. I do hope we aren’t paying for this crap.
I thought the GBF link was going to be a joke until I clicked it.