Although, as is usual from a lefty rag, the questions are so heavily loaded, the “quiz” is worthless cockwaffle. People who have opinions that differ from the orthodoxy peddled by the Guardianista automatically qualify as fruitcakes.
Join the club, eh? After all, having been branded as such, I might as well go the whole hog and vote for Farage’s little band of brothers.
*leaps to feet*
I’m a fruitcake!
(Low scores are ‘good’, but even 30/100 gets “Congratulations! You’ve been selected as a Ukip candidate in the next European election”. The path to Righteousness is clearly a narrow one.)
I got 35, so not very fruity…
At least I’m not a po-faced, self-righteous, pompous lefty twat.
You scored 75 out of a possible 100
I regret to say that the British public are not yet ready for your far-sighted opinions. Please reapply for 2019
Blimey…
“You scored 60 out of a possible 100
Congratulations! You’ve been selected as a Ukip candidate in the next European election.”
And I answered it mostly-seriously…
I answered mostly seriously, and got:-
You scored 50 out of a possible 100
Congratulations! You’ve been selected as a Ukip candidate in the next European election
But anyone not-quite-as-left as Mao Tse-Tung would be described as a swivel-eyed fascist by those hypocritical morons at the Grauniad….
Oh dear, me too. I thought I’d score much lower than that. I’m disappointed in myself. Must try harder.
Yet still they claim the Guardian is some kind of intellectual organ? It’s the kind of puerile crap you’d expect to see in Smash Hits or Nuts. Quite pathetic.
ooo la la quelle surprise je suis un gâteau de fruits ainsi
But I like being a fruitcake, I’ve always been one and I do not intend to stop.
Mind you as you said the bloody questions were ridiculous, I have a secret suspicion *whispers* shh tell no one, but I think the quizz was rigged!
The chances of me voting for Forage let alone being a candidate in his messed up little no policy party are non existent, but as I am technically a gâteau de fruits I may well change my mind by lunch time!
You scored 45 out of a possible 100
Congratulations! You’ve been selected as a Ukip candidate in the next European election
I couldn’t complete it:
“What do you think is most likely to be the cause of climate change?”
Where’s the “it’s part of nature for it to change, humans aren’t contributing a significant amount to it” answer?
“Which of these comes closest to your opinion on the role of the British state?”
Currently? “A complete waste of the taxpayer’s money and should be cut down massively. ”
After submitting without actually answering those two, I got 30.
‘Where’s the “it’s part of nature for it to change…”‘
It’s right there in the second option. (Also, it’s pretty obvious that this is what the Guardian considers ‘humour’.)
My score? 25%
“No thanks. Perhaps your right-on views might be better suited to a career on Whitehall or at the BBC?”
“Although, as is usual from a lefty rag, the questions are so heavily loaded, the “quiz” is worthless cockwaffle. People who have opinions that differ from the orthodoxy peddled by the Guardianista automatically qualify as fruitcakes.”
The core support for UKIP comes from people who think that David Cameron is a communist. I don’t know whether that makes them “fruitcakes” but it certainly makes them morons.
It’s good to know there are so many of us – I scored 40 on this ‘test’ and I am. apparently, qualified to stand as a UKIP hopeful. I’m a bit chuffed really – I never win anything as a rule!
Seems I’m in good company!
It saddens me to think that some gibbon is paid 3x my salary (I have a REAL job) to sit in the office scratching his balls and thinking up this utter shite.
I an sparticake!
55%. If one took a Guardian test indicating inclinations towards teapothood, that would go very nicely indeed with the fruitcake. Cucumber sandwiches next, perchance? Scones would also be nice. Strawberry jam with the clotted cream, please.
Why do they bother breathing? Like the Guardianista prick who equates ‘best regards’ with ‘f**k off’. Life must be so hard.
Interesting. I knew that the Tories were concerned about haemhorraging voters to UKIP, but I didn’t realise that the Labourites were just as worried. No amount of dressing this quiz up as “a bit of humourous fun” can conceal the fact that they are secretly hoping that anyone doing this little quiz will be horrified to think that they might be considered in any way pro-UKIP. It’s a bit insulting to their readers, to be honest. Mind you, anyone who reads the Guardian and takes it seriously probably needs to be insulted – regularly and robustly – so it’s probably fair enough.
“Interesting. I knew that the Tories were concerned about haemhorraging voters to UKIP, but I didn’t realise that the Labourites were just as worried”
Why would staunch Labourites vote for a party that has uber-Thatcherite Neil Hamilton on its ruling NEC? Just for its anti-EU rhetoric? There is an awful lot more to UKIP that its Euro-scepticism. UKIP is the Tories on steroids. It is the natural home for Tories who think that the present Conservative Party are pinkos.
Your world is remarkably bilateral. I am well aware of erstwhile Labour voters who are thinking of voting Ukip. They, like me, are sick to the back teeth of lib/lab/con PPE graduates who think that they can tell the rest of us how to live our lives. Ukip provides a useful vehicle to give these smug, self-satisfied professional politicians a sharp slap.
So, yes, labour voters will vote for the small protest party.
“Your world is remarkably bilateral”
I live in the real world and I actually read the policies of UKIP.
“I am well aware of erstwhile Labour voters who are thinking of voting Ukip.”
So what? According to polls a lot of Labour voters are “thinking of” voting UKIP because of disenchantment over the EU. But very few will end up doing so once they learn about its other policies during a general election.
“They, like me, are sick to the back teeth of lib/lab/con PPE graduates who think that they can tell the rest of us how to live our lives. Ukip provides a useful vehicle to give these smug, self-satisfied professional politicians a sharp slap.”
By voting for a party led by an entitled middle class merchant banker and a former Conservative who was a byword for smug self-satisfied corruption? Yeah, that’ll show ’em. Anyone who thinks that UKIP is anything other than more of the same is deluding themselves.
I’m sorry, but do you really think people vote on polices? Really?
Lib/Lab/Con are the same evil thieves under the skin. They are career politicians who for the most part haven’t done a day’s real work in their lives and they think they have the right to tell the rest of us how to live and pass laws that affect us without ever having had to deal with the consequences. Ukip and the other small parties provide a useful outlet for the protest vote. If it damages the bastards in power, that is a good thing. I have a choice – vote for a small party or withhold it – because you can be absolutely sure that the big three ain’t getting it.
To be honest, Stephen, I think that most people who are considering (or have decided to) vote UKIP have done so because UKIP are the only party who offers them at least the chance of getting out of the EU totally, and for many people that is the single, most important issue which is currently out there. Not everyone, of course, but, rightly or wrongly, many many people are now very, very worried about the EU. As none of the other parties are even countenancing that as a possibility, then clearly anyone who does want “out” – whatever their prior or traditional voting behaviour – are likely to go that way.
I guess what surprised me most was not that there were some Labour voters who were likely to make the switch, but that there were sufficient numbers of them for the Guardian to attempt a rather ham-fisted way of “showing them how silly they were” for considering it.
Not that I doubted how skewed the questions would be but still, apparently 35 is enough to qualify me as a potential UKIP candidate.
I took the test twice. First time trying to answer the questions as honestly as I could, (Well given the loadedness of them) and got 55%! Yey!! Watch out Nigel, I’m on your tail for the top job. The second time answering as a Beeby Gardianista would. 0%
I don’t need to go to a re-training camp, I can do it for myself! 😉