Trek or treat: Should I pay for my friend’s charity holiday?
See answer above. If people want to go on the trip of a lifetime, then they should pay for it. Some of the money going to charity doesn’t cut it with me. I pay for my holidays, I expect others to do likewise. And as for charity… Well, when the state stops stealing my money and pissing it up the wall on the third sector parasites currently thriving on the proceeds of that theft, I’ll give some thought to which charities are worthy of a gift, but not before.
“A friend asked for sponsorship to swim with sharks,” she said. “As far as I’m concerned, that is asking me to pay for her hols.”
But did Miss Carter sponsor her friend? As it turns out, yes.
“I found it too difficult not to. I gave her a fiver and I’m still annoyed with myself. But mainly annoyed with her.”
I’d manage to say “no” even if it was a friend and even if it was difficult, because the principle is wrong. So, I wouldn’t be annoyed with myself or them.
Peer pressure, coupled with a natural reluctance to say no, is the perfect combination to force you to hand over your hard-earned cash.
This is true, of course and the emotional blackmail involved is what makes it work. I’ve grown harder in my old age. I’ve learned to say “no” and explain briefly why. Oddly enough, a valid reason – I choose not to support that charity or I don’t agree with the principle – seems to be accepted. Well, at least superficially. I’m not sure what people say behind my back, but then, I don’t care. Either way, I avoid:
The result? Seething resentment.
Precisely.
Psychologist Dr Judith Sills says it is important to learn to say “no”.
“It’s a beautiful thing – emotionally, spiritually, and even professionally – to be generous, to be supportive. But integrity is as essential as benevolence.
“‘No’ says, ‘This is who I am; this is what I value’.”
Precisely. I learned it a long time ago when people would beg me to give to Pudsey and I would seethe because I hated Pudsey with all my heart. Eventually, I stopped giving in and felt better for it.
No can’t be doing with jollies.
On the other hand a colleague recently donned a right silly costume and ran miles to raise money for a hospital, he was doing his bit for the service that fine hospital had provided for his nephew, good on him too, i was glad to put me mitt into me pocket for that.
No. It’s nonsense. My wife (when we weren’t married) went to Tanzania to ‘help’. This was an extended jolly, the ‘help’ involved planting trees (the locals had already dug the holes) and making links.
I wouldn’t give to any large charity at all, they are all on the make.
Have you come across the new thing in schools ? They used to raise money for, (say) Cancer awareness by having a sponsored walk or something like that – I don’t have a problem with that.
But sometimes now it is an ‘awareness day’ with associated envelope which the parents (presumably) are supposed to put money in i.e. it’s scrounging and the children do nothing. A really good lesson for children to learn that is ….
I put a letter in explaining bluntly what I thought of it.
A recent fundraising effort at my sons’ former school, to buy playground equipment for a South American orphanage, raised over a thousand pounds.
The organisers tallied the sponsorship money raised by each tutor group; the group which raised the most money were rewarded with a trip to Alton Towers which must have cost a fair proportion of the total amount raised by the school.
My faith in human nature is pretty shaky at best, but even I was surprised at that one: “Hey, Kids; we got you a tyre swing and we’re off to a theme park to celebrate!”
The thing is, I wouldn’t have the brass neck to do it. If I was going to do some kind of arduous trek for charity and ask friends to sponsor me, I would feel morally obliged to pay the expenses out of my own pocket so that one hundred percent of the sponsorship went to the charity in question. In any case, there are plenty of tough challenges that I could do that would cost very little, a local marathon or triathlon for instance.
I’m afraid that I have become very cynical about charities anyway, once I became aware of all those fake charities that are funded mainly by stolen money, stolen from me by the government. These fake charities don’t just accept stolen money, getting their hands on even more of it seems to be more important to them than whatever good cause they are supposed to stand for. This of course leads them into the position where they they cannot solve the problem that they were set up to solve in case the funding dries up as a result.
And then of course we have the ‘big boys’ like Oxfam, with their multimillion property portfolio and their upper management on six-figure salaries.
And the money for all that comes from where?
Charity? Pah! Don’t make me laugh.
And as for the low-lives that fill the ranks of ASH et al, all with their generous salaries and perks, like jollies to far-flung parts of the world to discuss how they will further stigmatise, criminalise and discriminate against the 25% of the population that they don’t like, they should not only be sacked immediately, they should also be forced to pay back every penny they have stolen from the public purse. My contempt for them knows no bounds.
I’ve been saying “No” for years. I resent being blackmailed, and I’m not susceptible to the concept of being thought mean.I don’t give a damn what people think. I’m generous by nature, but I don’t need public approval. I give where I feel moved to do so, not when I’m being coerced. I learned to say “No” more than 40 years ago, when as a lad travelling in Asia I was constantly beset by unfortunates wanting me to give them what little money I had. Some I did give some small succour to, but most of them got a firm “No”.