World Cup Song

Tony Christie has prostituted himself in the name of football. His hit song; (Is This The Way To) Amarillo, has been rewritten to give his flagging career a boost on the back of the dreadful soccer junket that will plague us over the course of the summer. As an aside, a quick exit for the national team may mitigate some of the hyperbole driven misery for those of us who don’t like football (yes, we do exist), but only some. Anyway, back to Christie:

“This has every chance of being number one when England win the World Cup,” Christie said.

Unfortunately he is probably right – about the song, not winning the world cup. Quality and the number one slot are not synonymous. Popular music history is riddled with novelty songs that captured the nation’s imagination despite having no musical merit whatsoever. The Birdie Song, anyone? Or the lamentable Shuddup Your Face? I could list more, but I’d be in danger of slitting my wrists. Despite bastardising Neil Sedaka’s original composition, despite the fact that it is incredibly tacky and doesn’t scan; yes, people will go out and buy (Is This The Way To) The World Cup.

There are some subjects that don’t go well with music and sport is one of them. Quality music tends to be driven by something more sublime; love, relationships, religion. Despite my atheism, I can appreciate and even be moved by religious music. Football songs, though, just make my toes curl. Frankly, the best soccer song ever written goes something like this; “’ere we go, ’ere we go, ’ere we go.” It scans, at least, and has about the most intelligible soccer lyrics that have been put to music without being utterly cringe-worthy.

It could be worse, I guess. They could have asked the England squad to sing it…. :dry: