Robert Webb thinks we should be enduring Red Nose Day. Or, at least, we should stop moaning about it.
But the reasons for an aversion to Red Nose Day are more complicated and, I dare say, interesting.
Actually, neither complicated nor interesting, particularly. I had tired of the telethons by the time the first Red Nose Day was aired back in the eighties. Frankly the sight of a bunch of overpaid slebs poncing about so that we, the masses, may be nagged to give yet more of our money to the cause du jour left me cold pretty quickly. Indeed, I had tired of it by the time Live Aid came to an end one summer evening in 1985. My feeling being something along the lines of “if you think it’s such a good cause, you give your money. After all, you have more of it than I do”. Sir Bob Geldof’s exhortations fell on deaf ears as far as I was concerned.
Also, I’m selective, scrub that, very fussy about the charities I choose to give to. They must not, under any circumstance, take government money and they must not, under any circumstance, involve Africa. When I have the funds, I tend to give to small, independent charities, usually local ones – that may or may not involve cats.
For one thing, a telethon is like line-dancing: boring and embarrassing unless you actually join in (see also: orgies). As a family, we never really “did” telethons. You know those repeated moments when you’re watching Children in Need or Comic Relief and some famous person says something like, “You, sat at home, enjoying all this marvellous entertainment; you, who still haven’t called in to pledge any money – you know who you are – well, please call now. Call now. Call. Just call. Call. And if you don’t call: call. You know who you are: call!”
Except as Webb himself points out – it isn’t marvellous entertainment, it’s tedious dross. Like Webb’s family back in the eighties, I have never called in and pledged money and I feel not one iota of guilt for my failure to do so. And I will not feel guilty for my failure do so in the future, either. Unlike Webb’s family, I have never bothered to endure it, preferring to use the television’s magical channel change button.
You basically contract to hand over some cash or you’re just going to get told off for 12 hours.
Well, actually, no. You see, when these dreadful events plague a whole day’s worth of BBC output, I either watch another channel as mentioned, or as is more likely, watch something I’ve already recorded. I immunise myself perfectly satisfactorily from the loud hectoring, guilt-trip begging from self-righteous, pious, its-all-for-charidee-celebrities and am more than happy to continue doing so.
You can take it that this Friday, I won’t be watching the BBC and as in previous years, I won’t be buying a stupid red nose, either.
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Update: Delicious.
a bullying smugfest for a nation of cretins
Heh. 👿
I watch the telethons. Well to be exact, I watch a few very short snippets of the telethons. More specifically the bits of my favourite shows. So I will be watching the Dr Who part and maybe a a few others. But no way do I give any money.
I’m working nights (well I’ll be at work anyway) so I’ll miss it.
Means I don’t even have to find an excuse to ignore it this year 😀
Well said, Mr.L. A double whammy of rewarding performing acts I spend the rest of the year avoiding and rewarding the machinations of corrupt governments and fake charities? I think not. And it’s not even self-contained at 12 hours anymore. These things spawn “specials” all over the schedules to hector and annoy us.
We do give regularly to a couple of charities who work in Africa, carefully chosen and researched. Flinging money at some corporate megathon, as the DEC has proved itself to be so thoroughly over Haiti, is worse than giving nothing at all.
they one from biased bbc
http://biased-bbc.blogspot.com/2010/04/red-nose-red-face.html
and yes more Fake charities one them is nspcc.
http://www.comicrelief.com/partners/funding-partners
I already gave at the License Fee.
I am capable of saying no, the way they bully children in schools to divvy up money is sickening but typical of those people.
I am glad I am not the only one who avoids these tedious charidee fests full of smug gits. I find other things to do on the night and avoid the bbc. Small, local and real charities get my money as well as the RNLI.
Lenny Henry hasn’t been particularly funny for over 20 years, but unlike Robert Webb at least he has actually been funny at some point in his career.
But like you I refuse to give money to a bunch of shit charities I’ve never heard of simply because some Celebs tell me to do it. Fuck off the lot of you, and take the sheep who follow you with you.