Well, make the most of it, the world ends today. According to the fundamentalist Harold Camping, today, May 21st 2011 is the day when the rapture happens. Unfortunately for him, it’s likely to turn out much the same as it did when he predicted the same thing back in 1994 – the world will go on as normal.
Meanwhile, some atheists are having a ball. One entrepreneur is making a killing charging deluded Christians $135 a pop to pick up and look after their pets once they’ve been swept to the heavens. He doesn’t give refunds.
So, given that the end is nigh – again – what will I be doing? Well, the grass needs mowing and the borders could do with a spot of water and after all of that, I’m working tonight. I wonder if they will accept the end of the world as an excuse to go off sick?
working tonight
Unless, of course, you’re snatched up to heaven along with the righteous.
The best suggestion I’ve heard is that at 6pm all the atheists in the US should hide, leaving the impression they have been raptured.
I’m starting ‘War And Peace’, which I think is the done thing, in these situations… 😮
I got taken, and it’s just like Earth. Actually exactly like Earth. All the idiots and even the fucking washing up we left in the sink got taken too.
I hear that nothing has been heard of this preacher since the deadline expired.
Perhaps the rapturing and end of the world only applied to him.
An alternative take would be that part of his prediction was that Jesus would be coming back. Now if he were to be handling the rapturing personally and managed do do one believer a minute (big country, so they’ll be spread out a bit) that would be 1440 per day, or just over half a million per year.
With a bible belt comprising up to 20 million, this is going to take our lord about 40 years to do the whole job and that’s without a moments rest.
And you can’t end the world until all the rapturees have been raptured.
Sorry. I’m just making excuses for the poor dears.
Dear dir, I’m still here on Earth. Maybe next tome!