I’ve just endured a fraught twenty four hours. Yesterday lunchtime a man called at the house. As is usual with uninvited, unknown callers, I didn’t answer the door. Just as well as it turned out. He was a debt manager from hmrc. He wanted money. More money than I have. However, it was money based upon a self assessment that was optimistic – so it was money that I do not owe.
Now here we come to the absurdity of the UK tax system. Unlike rational systems in other parts of the world, self assessment requires money up front in the form of payment on account based upon what you earned in the previous tax year. If you subsequently earn more, you have to make up the difference when you complete your tax return and vice versa if you earn less. If you know that you are going to earn less you can apply for a reduction of those payments – but it is still guesswork rather than working out what you actually owe based upon what you actually earned retrospectively, which would be the sensible thing to do.
The hmrc started chasing me back in April. Up to that point I hadn’t been too worried as I realised that I wouldn’t be owing anything once the accounts had been done and the return submitted. This was a mistake on my part. Having informed them previously and made a few small payments, I thought that they would recognise the situation and wait for the outcome of the return – knowing as they did, that the figures would render the amount showing as owing void.
No, they send round a debt collector who having not got an answer at the door called me on my mobile. He was looking at the car parked outside and threatened to take it away. I reminded him that the money was not owing. That, in fact if I did pay him or he took goods, they would have to pay me back as I did not owe this money.
My accountant must shoulder a little of the blame here. When first contacted by the hmrc, I asked him to request a reduction. His plan though, was to submit a return. This was sensible as we had already applied for one reduction so another would look a bit odd – even though it reflected reality. Besides, he told me, what I had already paid more than covered my liability. Yes, I knew this, tell that to the parasites at the revenue who are quite happy to intimidate vulnerable people who have no money. Their solution to my problem was “get a better paid job”.
Immediately following my call with Mr Debt Collector, I called the accountant to find out why a problem I thought had been resolved was now sitting outside eyeing up my motor. It seemed that they had changed their process. Instead of the one person doing the lot – accounts and tax return – he submitted the accounts to their tax department and the level of urgency wasn’t conveyed. It was conveyed yesterday afternoon.
We signed everything off today and instead of me owing hmrc about £600, they owe me £80. Maybe I should go round to their office and steal one of their cars in lieu of the debt. Oh, yeah, it only actually works one way, doesn’t it?
It’s moments like this you realise the true nature of the state: a criminal protection racket.
Quite so. It’s all a bit academic until you find yourself staring down the barrel of the gun.
“Having informed them previously and made a few small payments, I thought that they would recognise the situation and wait for the outcome of the return – knowing as they did, that the figures would render the amount showing as owing void.”
You credit them with far too much intelligence, autonomy and inter-departmental co-operation. I should know, I have friends who used to work there!
Yes, it does look that way. What infuriates me is that they assume a debt when it is based upon an estimate of earnings, not actual earnings. They are far too quick to go in with the big guns. Only the state could get away with what would otherwise be criminal extortion.
Last year, I was contacted by the USA internal revenue (IRS) and told to re-submit forms for tax years 2007 and 2008, because I had sold a house and cashed in an investment during those years.
Well, I left the USA in 1988 and now live in Mexico, and since my dollar-income is ALWAYS below the minimum for even FILING a yearly form, I have not filed since 1995.
So after hours of work finding documents and calculating and filling out the forms and mailing by FEDEX ($22), they write me 3 months later stating they still haven’t received the forms! I ignored them after that and guess what?
They mailed me a check for $300! With no explanation!
So typical of useless bureacrats, no?
I have been living overseas since 2006 and have no UK income. This fact doesn’t prevent the looters from HMRC sending me a return each year, last year I binned it and got a demand for 100 pounds fine for failure to submit, luckily I managed to convince them that it must have been lost in the post and more importantly was a nil return anyway.
Basically they are trying it on, and I wonder how many people get caught out that way.
I would like to see their whole department abolished – imagine the saving to the economy? No more tax accountants and consultants, lower taxes, no more hatchet faced gits eyeing up inncoent people’s cars – instead they could all go and get a proper job. They ‘d probably fail, but even so they’d be less of burden doing nothing than doing something.