No One Has Endurance

Like the woman who sells insurance.

The first time someone tried to sell me personal accident insurance must be getting on for thirty years ago. A woman called at the local motorcycle club and was surrounded by a curious crowd of onlookers as she went into her pitch. We wondered what it was she was selling. The product was new then –  at least it was to us. Eventually she got to the kill and as we realised that she wanted us to sign up for a direct debit for personal accident insurance, her audience melted away like April snow –  much to her annoyance, having spent some while delivering her sales pitch.

Frankly, personal accident insurance is bordering on the scam. It is an entirely unnecessary product. If someone’s negligence causes you harm, it is a tort under English common law and you can sue for damages. Trying to pitch it at motorcyclists who, for the most part, already had fully comp insurance was pretty dumb, frankly.

Since then, these people have knocked on the door from time to time. The usual opener involves telling me that everyone in the street has already signed up. Yes, I bet they have. Next door gives everyone short shrift, so that one is a non-starter. One woman, on taking a look at the bike parked in the driveway tried to push past me into the house while telling me that such a high risk activity absolutely required personal accident insurance. Suffice to say, the tactic was unsuccessful.

Then there’s the RAC who telephone me from time to time trying to sell me the same policy and are rebutted on each occasion.

Last night as I rolled into work for my midnight shift, I was aware of a woman talking to one of my colleagues in the canteen. She was clearly giving some sort of presentation. I didn’t take much notice as I walked past, assuming that this was some sort of HR type discussion, although I’d not seen this woman before and the canteen seemed a bit public. As I went to my pigeon-hole to collect my pay slip, snippets of the conversation drifted across the room about types of accident and injury and the magic words, “direct debit”. So, I realised what was going on, she was trying to sell him the good old personal accident insurance. Which, I thought, was a bit odd. I was surprised that the company was letting sales types in to pitch at folk while they were on their break. A bit off, I thought.

As it turned out, it was nothing like that. Shortly after I started work, this woman sought me out and asked for me by name. Was I, she asked, interested in going out for a chat about benefits? So, that’s what they are calling it these days. Benefits, eh? She accepted my flat refusal with good grace, which was fair enough. It meant that she got away a bit early as I was the only one who started at midnight. It’s entirely possible that she realised that I had clocked what she was about and assumed (correctly) that if I was refusing at this stage, any attempt to change my mind would be a waste of effort.

What annoys me about this little episode is that the employer is allowing, nay actively involved in, the selling of insurance to its employees using a dishonest opening gambit. Had I not gone into the canteen and caught the conversation going on, I may well have found myself unexpectedly facing a sales pitch. Not that these work. No one has ever sold me anything as a consequence of a cold call. There are no sales techniques that work on me. As soon as I realise what is happening, I wait for a suitable opening and say “no” very firmly. I don’t get into any engagement or discussion, I just keep saying “no” until the message takes root. Works every time. But, it shouldn’t happen in the work place and I’m disappointed that it is. If they wanted to let us have details of such insurance, they could have put something on the notice board and let us make appointments to discuss it if we so wished. What they did was underhand and dishonest. Benefits my arse.

———————————————

Update: It turns out that she is an “extra colleague benefits” ambassador, whatever one of those is…