Oh, FFS!

Let me be absolutely clear here, if I walk into a restaurant and see these godforsaken devices in use, I will turn around and walk out again never to return.

Dining in glass bubbles could be on the cards as restaurants try to find ways of keeping diners safe after lockdown.

French designer Christophe Gernigon has created the *Plex’Eat, a cylinder of transparent plastic that hangs from a cable on the ceiling, much like a lampshade.

A cut out at the back allows a diner to sit and stand up without having to bend right over.

Mr Gernigon said similar products already on the market looked like booths in prison visiting rooms, so were not inviting for customers.

Even if the rest of the world consists of a bunch of bed-wetting fear-mongers and ‘fraidy cats, I will not enable this idiocy. Indeed, the only reason I am not back at work is because I am reliant on the DVSA, which being a government agency is right at the top of the tree when it comes to this behaviour.

If you are afraid of a microbe, fine. Your choice. If you are so fearful that you don’t want to go out, then that’s fine too. Your choice. But do not presume to impose your choices on me (and stop fucking regaling me with doom laden, hysterical, emotionally incontinent cockwaffle on social media – my blocking finger is getting tired now). I am not afraid and I will not enable this fearful, craven cowardly behaviour. Frankly, if going out means that I succumb to this virus and go off to meet my maker, it will be a blessed relief from the sheer lunacy we are currently having to deal with.

If you want to eat in a plastic bubble then be my guest, but any restaurant that uses these deranged devices will manage without my custom.

^{* He’ll be in trouble with the French language police for this blatant piece of Franglais. And a jolly good thing given the monstrosity he is trying to foist upon us.}