More Census Silliness

Charles Moore contemplates some civil disobedience. Longrider Towers received the dreaded purple paperwork earlier this week. Not that the contents were any surprise, I already knew what the questions were and they are no less intrusive seeing them in their nice purple colour scheme.

I’m inclined to agree with Moore on pretty much all that he says; the questions are intrusive, the custodians of the data cannot be relied upon to conserve their confidentiality and the level of nosiness has nothing to do with planning services more efficiently and everything to do with “because we can”.

On its website, the ONS says that the material collected by the census allows central and local government “to target their resources more efficiently”. Does one really want them to be able to do this? “More efficiently”, in their mind, probably means the ever greater payment of benefits and subsidies and an ever more focused attack on people (like me) who work in the private sector, are married, have children and pay taxes. Is there any information I can give the Government about myself and my family which will assist myself and my family? I find it increasingly hard to see what that could be.

I suspect that he has a point here. What we really need for government to be more efficient is for it to do an awful lot less. Given that, the information being sought is of no use. Why, for example do they need to know what type of heating I have? What difference does it make what colour my skin is, or what deity I worship –  or not? None of their business and there is no possible logical reason for them knowing.

I haven’t yet decided –  even at this late stage –  what form my protest will take. All I can say is that whatever I do, it will be of no help to those gathering the information. My private life, who I am and my ethnic origins will remain no business of the state and I will not be divulging it.

I did like the little box on the front asking for my phone number in case they need to collect missing information. Well, the first piece of missing information will be my phone number, thanks.

5 Comments

  1. I did like the little box on the front asking for my phone number in case they need to collect missing information. Well, the first piece of missing information will be my phone number, thanks.

    Thanks for that; the first proper belly laugh of the weekend…

  2. I have some alternative suggestions here.

    The Charles Moore column is a good one, although some of the comments are predictably sheeplike (nothing to hide … etc). I wonder what would happen if you simply said you had posted it, and it was not your fault that the envelope had been lost. Would they come round and demand you did it again?

    Especially if you had proof of posting …

  3. The form will be read by computer apparently, and all those little bar codes on each page can be subtly altered with a black pen for a start.

    I intend a few tea splashes or bits of HP sauce here and there. Maybe a cat paw print too and the odd strategic small tear. Date it well before or after 27th March. And it goes without saying that the more impertinent intrusions will go unanswered or be answered obtusely or with direct lies. I’m sure i can think of a few other things too.

    You are quite right. The arrogance and impudence of many of the questions is simply because they can. Well I’m going to do all I can (short of refusing to send the form off which would just invite a fine and a criminal record) to make it useless because I can.

  4. I intend to answer the question on Race by writing ‘human being’, which is biologically correct. I intend to answer the question on health as ‘I am not a doctor’. And I intend to ignore the question about religion as it is voluntary. As I have answered the questions they can’t take action against me.

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