To be English – at least, openly so – is unacceptable in today’s society. To be English and wear a beard is no longer something that is simply accepted as it once was when the Victorian or Edwardian gentleman sported a variety of facial hairstyles, but to be English and to dare to say that it is a good thing is most certainly verboten.
Of course, all of this poses the question; what is English anyway? I consider myself English because I was born here, yet my ancestry is a mix of Scots, Irish and French. Is the archetypal Englishman of Nordic or Norman descent or a mix of the Celt, Roman, Dane, Saxon and Norman? England is a Saxon construct, the first Kings of England being Saxon. Alfred was Great because of it, was he not? Until, that is, the dastardly Normans (themselves Vikings) invaded. Our language is a bastard, comprising Saxon Germanic, Danish and French with smatterings of imported tongues from around our erstwhile empire. Oh, yeah, don’t mention the Empire…
Yet, for all that, when Brian True-May talks of the quintessentially English village life portrayed in the Midsomer Murders – not to mention the high body count and barely a batted eyelid over the tea and biscuits, he is right. There is something very English about the whole thing. He is criticised because there aren’t any ethnics seen in Badger’s Drift, Corston or Strangler’s Wood. Unless, that is, one counts the ethnic English – or aren’t we allowed to acknowledge that one? For uttering a truth, for daring to suggest that the cast reflect the nature of the story, he has been suspended from his job. I must admit, I am surprised he was so forthright in today’s climate of enforced diversity and thoughtcrime. After all, all he has done is voice a view. A view many might not like, but so what? It is only a view after all. Apparently Midsomer Murders isn’t popular with ethnic minorities. Again, so what? I suspect that Asian Radio isn’t popular with those from Anglo Saxon English ethnicity. But True-May is a very bad man and must be publicly humiliated and hounded from his job for voicing unpopular thoughts. The gulag is too good for people who say “unacceptable” things.
The race equality thinktank the Runnymede Trust said True-May’s comments were out of date and no longer reflected English society.
Y’know… I suspect that this isn’t entirely accurate… At least it doesn’t reflect the opinions of many of those I meet in the course of my work. I’ve head enough opinions over the past few years that directly contradict this smug statement to doubt its provenance. The reason it appears out of date and is not voiced is precisely because of what is now happening to True-May. People simply avoid what they are thinking for fear of the thought police.
And then there’s the matter of facial hair. Well known Englishmen have long sported bristles on the face, from the handlebar moustache to the neatly cut full beard – not to mention the Victorian penchant for mutton chop sideburns. I’ve worn a beard in my time, although on balance, I prefer to go clean shaven. Yet, despite folk like W C Grace, William Shakespeare and monarchs through the ages sporting face fungus, it offends the delicacies of modern Britain.
Richard Westcott, of BBC Breakfast, is usually clean-shaven. But when, one morning, the lower part of his face sported a lustrous coating of silver bristles, the public erupted. “Disgraceful,” wrote one viewer. “Dirty,” fumed another. “Is he sleeping rough?” demanded others.
You do wonder… Well, I wonder, sometimes, at the state to which we have unevolved. Of course if Mr Wescott was a Muslim or Sikh, no one would complain, would they? Yet an Englishman wearing a beard as his illustrious ancestors once did is now “disgraceful” and “dirty”. The only thing here that is disgraceful is the tiny minded bigotry of those who think it their business to tell a complete stranger what he should do with his body. A beard is natural on a man. Shaving is not natural. Although, if you follow the terminally stupid Bidisha’s logic;
A man who likes a woman without pubic hair despises adult women so much that he wants us to resemble children.
That must mean that women who like the clean shaven look on men are paedophiles. Make of that what you will. Assuming you are prepared to accept Bidisha’s logic in the first place and reverse it, that is.
Bet that Bidisha is a right hairy munter. That aside, I think people who worry about other people’s sexual preferences and proclivities must be deperately insecure or lonely, or both.
I have sported a (now greying) beard of various stylings for many a year and am proud to do so. Until such time as the govt of whatever hue decides to go all Peter the Great on us. As far as lady gardens are concerned, once permission to enter is given whether it is bushy, trimmed or closely mown – I’m really not that fussy.
“Y’know… I suspect that this isn’t entirely accurate…”
In order for it to make sense, you need to understand that ‘English society’ for this bunch = ‘tiny, narrow unrepresentative sample of my Islington friends’…
Your point about the paedophile/shaving thing is very apt. Sauce for the goose, and all that. I spent many years with a ‘full set’, but got sick of it and went clean shaven for a while. Now I have compromised with a goatee type of thing as I (whisper it) enjoy the ritual of shaving, but my wife loves the beard.
As to Midsomer Murders, it’s not unexpected. Remember that line about uncontrolled immigration being a good thing because “it will rub the Right’s nose in diversity”? The campaign has now reached the last redoubts of Englishness. It’s nearly all over. Of course, it is utterly false. Many (most?) English villages are white, and even more so here in Wales. To pretend otherwise is a falsehood. But we can’t be allowed to see that reflected on TV, because that would reinforce our inbuilt racism, or something.
A plague on them. Can you imagine a TV show set in a village in India, or Japan, or Nigeria that included loads of whiteys ‘for the sake of balance’? It would be a nonsense.
The self-flagellating reaction of the ITV peopls is the frightening thing here.
“Bet that Bidisha is a right hairy munter.”
Far, far too much information there, Henry. You have completely put me off my fish and chips, and I will now have to go and lie down with a litre bottle of vodka and a long straw until the awful mental image blurs sufficiently for me to face the world again.
Incidentally, why does this woman think she’s so important that she can omit her surname? Or does she think we’re all too thick to pronounce it properly. Bidisha Eyjafjallajökull? Bidisha Fukushima-Daiichi? I’m sure we’d cope.
As a Scotsman I wish to fully support your right to Englishness, including beards. We are all a bit sick of being British bearing in mind the type of people who are going about claiming to be “British” these days. Carry on Morris Dancing etcetera and claim back your identity!
It’s Bidisha Bandyopadhyay, Edwdin.
And I like it if people don’t like beards. It’s not why I have one though. It is just something that a man can achieve by doing nothing at all.
As a Morris-Dancer with a very full beard, I thnk our Scottish friend for that comment
Haven’t shaved for about 30 years now.
Saves a FORTUNE on razor blades.
/beating head on desk/
I live in a big English city. Lots of different races and skin colours. Nothing like Eastenders which I find hysterically funny – representative of London’s East End? Hah!
My family come from a small town in southern England. The arrival of the black Nigerian dentist (a splendidly witty six footer called Angus) and the Turkish marketstall holders were and are notable events there. This kind of place was intended to be described by the words ‘hideously white’ no doubt.
The meaning(s) of the word ‘English’ are part of our, the English, problem. It’s a language, a lump of land, a nation. We’re being squeezed to nothing by our own multiplicity or ubiquity. Do we even have a bloody anthem of our own?
Mr. L said:
“Y’know… I suspect that this isn’t entirely accurate… At least it doesn’t reflect the opinions of many of those I meet in the course of my work. I’ve head enough opinions over the past few years that directly contradict this smug statement to doubt its provenance. The reason it appears out of date and is not voiced is precisely because of what is now happening to True-May. People simply avoid what they are thinking for fear of the thought police.”
I now live and work elsewhere in Europe and I really have noticed how in the last couple of years people in the UK have become very reluctant to discuss contentious issues for fear of seeming out of step, of people who might be offended, or worse, who might report them and get them into trouble, even with the law. This reluctance can be about any subject, from recycling to religion. By way of example, during my last trip home a friend was discussing his brother in law and made a comment about how embarrassing he could be when “speaking his mind”. I’d met him the night before and while he had some independent non-mainstream views none seemed particularly strong or contentious to me but then I’m no longer conditioned by the social mores of that circle.
I have to say I find it most depressing, people throw around references to Big Borther, police states, the Stazi or whatever but you have to wonder if it hasn’t actually already happened now. Worse still, it’s mostly self-inflicted.
Cardinal Heenan, of blessed memory, said beards were “a cry for help”.
A much misunderstood man, Cardinal Wiseman.
I’ve never had a beard.