More Interfering Busybodying

Via the Angry Exile, another intrusion proposed by the medial profession into our private lives. Like the Exile, it is probably not an issue for me as I too hit all the brownie points. But that’s not the issue, is it? The issue is; it’s none of their concern –  unless it is relevant, in which case, asking is fine.

Still, that ain’t gonna stop ’em in a hurry.

In its poll of family doctors, 80 per cent thought patients ought to be asked about their drinking habits, but just 20 per cent currently ask the question.

We only need to be asked if we are attending with a problem that may be linked to alcohol consumption, just as, for example, someone with breathing difficulties may reasonably be asked about their smoking habits –  because in that circumstance, it is relevant. If it isn’t relevant, I don’t expect to be asked about it, because it is none of their concern. Did I just say that? Oh, well, saying it again does no harm, and one day, someone might take notice 😈

That they will be incentivised to ask just adds the icing to the cake.

Under a national pay system for family doctors, part of their earnings depend on them checking whether patients with common health problems are smokers, with an extra payment for referring smokers to services to help them give up.

Currently, the only earnings related to alcohol intake concern patients diagnosed with high blood pressure, where GPs get paid more for giving them lifestyle advice on eating and drinking healthily.

So what works for smoking transfers to drinking. Not that we were unaware of this. Those of us taking notice picked up on it a long time ago. All of this is just another advance by the temperance movement, the latest flanking attack that aims towards its ultimate goal of zero alcohol and zero tobacco.

Whenever these things crop up, I am reminded of that scene in Ghost Town where Ricky Gervais’ character, Bertram Pincus, is going into hospital for a colon examination. As he checks in, he is subjected to a series of the usual questions, none of which are relevant to his appointment. The responses are so good, I share them below. Gervais appears to think as we do and uses humour to good effect.

Receptionist – Date of birth?

Pincus – Why? 

Receptionist –  What day were you born? 

Pincus –  No, I understood the question. Why do you need to know that? 

Receptionist –  Let’s leave it blank. Weight? 

Pincus – Last night or this morning?

Receptionist – You pick. 

Pincus –  Hundred and eighty-two pounds. 

Receptionist –  Number of alcoholic beverages consumed per week? 

Pincus – Why do you need to know that?

Receptionist – Well, they want to know. 

Pincus –  Well, I’m sure “they” want to know a lot of things, but I don’t want my intimate details auctioned off to the highest bidder, willy-nilly. 

Receptionist –  I’ll put zero. 

Receptionist – Marital status?

Pincus – Pass. 

Receptionist – Profession?

Pincus – Irrelevant. 

Receptionist  – Food allergies?

Pincus – I’m not gonna be eating here. 

Receptionist  – Are you allergic to sticking plaster?

Pincus – What a ludicrous question. I’m not answering any more of these, really. 

Receptionist  – Do you smoke?

Pincus – Stop it. 

Receptionist  – Do you wear dentures?

Pincus – Madame, listen… 

Receptionist  – When was the last time you ate?

Pincus – A pertinent question at last.

Perhaps more of us should adopt the Gervais approach…

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Update: In response to the comments, yes, it does work in real life.