A Dearth of Wankers

September 1, 2015 Longrider General News, Humour, misanthropy 5

Only nine, it would seem.

The boss of the UK’s national sperm bank has urged men to “prove their worth” and donate, after it was revealed that it has only nine registered donors.

I’m sure that’ll work – prove your worth by jerking off into a bottle. Yup, I can see that working well. Thing is, this was predictable. Indeed, some did predict it.

Witjens said she is considering a change in their marketing technique to combat the low sample, perhaps one accordingly modelled on the Danish approach, which encourages men to step up to the plate by proving their manhood.

And in eighteen years, a  knock on the door by someone claiming that you are Daddy. Or, in the meantime, the vile child support agency deciding that biological fathers are responsible financially for any offspring should concentrate minds. Couldn’t happen? Want to put money on that?

The risks, frankly, are far too great. Hence, only nine wankers.

5 Comments

  2. I can’t see how they can complain since they’ve been piling regulations and tut-tutting on sperm donation for years. The story you quote admits itself that only 1 in 100 get through their strict vetting procedure.

    If the state will only accept 100% perfect specimens on the precautionary principle and set terms which are incredibly strict, of course this will be the result. Changing the wording for applicants won’t change the fact that the state has, once again, ballsed it up (no pun intended).

  4. But why do they need more ‘deposits’? To satisfy potential single mothers and lesbian couples?
    Maybe men in general are more responsible than the purveyors of social engineering and actually ‘think of the children’, not the selfish ‘needs’ of crazy women.

  5. “And in eighteen years, a knock on the door by someone claiming that you are Daddy. Or, in the meantime, the vile Child Support Agency deciding that biological fathers are responsible financially for any offspring should concentrate minds. Couldn’t happen? Want to put money on that?” Exactly.

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