Removing filters in dating apps.
After people pushed for its removal in May 2020, Grindr posted a statement across social media on 1 June, announcing the removal of the filter and saying the platform had a “zero-tolerance policy for racism and hate speech”.
It continued: “As part of this commitment, and based on your feedback, we have decided to remove the ethnicity filter from our next release.”
However, while there have been six updates to the Grindr app since the statement, the ethnicity filter is still usable.
This is the same logic that says we should all date trans people – and, worse, not be told.
If someone doesn’t want to date a black person, then that is up to them. Sure you can call them a racist. You might even be right. However, forcing them to peruse profiles of black people isn’t going to make them want to date them, so what’s the point?
A personal anecdote here. I belong to a biker site that is designed to enable bikers to meet up – and date if they so wish. Certainly it is aimed at singles. Anyway, one day I was approached by a woman on this site. However, I recognised her. She had appeared in a television programme. It was pretty obvious that this person was a transwoman. There are tells – the jawline, lack of childbearing hips and so on. And, of course, the voice. Throughout this programme, this person was referred to as she and her. Which is fine as being trans had no bearing on the programme, which was about model aeroplanes, so why raise it?
Now, while I am open to meeting up and maybe dating (I have had a couple of dates this past few months), I am not interested in dating a transwoman. Sorry, but I’m not. You see, someone who has transitioned is still male. If they are interested in men, they are a gay man. I am not a gay man (as an aside, there are men who are interested in transwomen and they are called admirers. They know what they want and everyone is open about it, so no harm done). This individual’s profile made no mention of what I knew to be the case. So was approaching me potentially fraudulent? Would they have felt obliged to tell me? Would they have told me? The trans activists claim that it is private and there is no obligation, but I disagree.
While I have digressed somewhat, the underlying point remains. Dating is a very personal thing and we all have our tastes. Some people do not want an interracial relationship, some men (probably the majority) don’t want to date or have sex with another man claiming to be a woman. You can’t change that. Filters that enable you to block or select people by age or race simply means that both parties avoid wasting time and effort.
But, no, it’s racist. How long before I am told that I will be assigned a date and I must obey?
It might be an interesting real world experiment to remove it.
I’m sure Grinder can monitor the number of left or right swipes each person gets. How many views etc.
If historical data isn’t available, keep the ethnicity option up for a few months. Then remove it. See how the number of views and proportion of swipes changes.
I’m guessing that people who specify an ethnicity preference aren’t, generally, suddenly going to change their mind because a “dating” app suggested a different skin tone to their preferences.
There seem to be more and more people out there who have a problem with reality. The world is far from perfect and there is no harm in changing some things for the better if we can. But some things are what they are and can’t be changed, you have accept them and work around them. In this case the filter is a time saving device that saves you having to sort through the profiles manually. How is rejecting people one by one any more or less racist than getting the computer to do it for you?
I think the problem is that social media gives the very small minority who hold these views an amplified platform on which to shout their views. As always, the silent majority disagrees in private but have much better things to do with their lives than protest loudly, so the minority view becomes accepted.
Everyone has at least some highly personal preferences when it comes to sexual attraction, which I believe are largely baked in at conception; straight or gay, big or small, male or female, whatever. As Stonyground says, getting the computer to do the filtering is just efficient and what computers are ultimately there for!
Of course, the (semi) hidden assumption here is that the filter will be used by white people to screen out ‘persons of colour’ in a biased way. Based on what evidence? Modern apps harvest truly enormous amounts of data and metadata, so let’s see the numbers. If those raw numbers were openly and honestly available, I’d wager a pound to a penny that the filtering being done was not along these lines.
At the start of the last decade, the ‘Personalisation’ agenda became big in adult social care, whereby instead of receiving ‘one size fits all services’, those eligible would receive their own individual budget to manage themselves and select and pay for the type of service provision which best suited them. There followed considerable debate and hand-wringing over the potential for white clients to ask for white support and care workers only. Not once did I hear this assumption being questioned (save for when I did it). Turned out that by far the most stipulations came from Afro Caribbean clients saying that they absolutely did not want a Black African carer (and very occasionally vice versa).
I was in an interracial relationship with a black woman for three years. The reaction from the gentlemen of colour around the streets of London was not, how shall I say, very positive. (Black women were broadly in favour of it, since it took my girlfriend out of competition). I remember a Nation of Islam preacher calling her a race traitor quite openly to her face. I couldn’t resist adding ‘It’s even worse than you think. I’m Jewish’. His face was turning a nice shade of purple as we scarpered…
Personally, I’m open to an interracial relationship. If we are a fit, then that’s all that matters. Even if the data did suggest that white males were swiping past POCs, so what? Are we going to force them to accept dates they don’t want? What can they hope to achieve?
Dammit, Janzoon! I spluttered tea all over my keyboard at that last bit!
So, we’ll just go back to doing what we did before we were able to express these preferences in a drop down list. Add the line “Vanilla only – No chocolate, spice, curry or rice”.
I’ve never been on a dating website (sheltered life) and would be conflicted if I did since I do have a liking for ladies of a certain shade of light brown, is there a filter for that please, if not why am I being discriminated against ?
It’s all getting a bit complicated, since we now know to bend the knee to prove we ain’t racist, how do I prove I’m not homophobic ? Suck his cock ?
The lead article at UnHerd is coincidentally about searching Pornhub for racist or interracial porn. The lady writer discovers that all women are sluts, whores or bitches while a search for Black Lives Matter brings up Black Dicks Matter.
Your taste in ladies is a racist fetish. You can’t win here…
“I do have a liking for ladies of a certain shade of light brown” – Which I believe the denizens of the left would not describe as “a clear indication of a non-racist”, instead they would start at “Problematic”, err towards “colonialist mentality” and probably end up at “You’re a racist bigot whitey”.
Just so ya know.
On the LGBT+ thing, as my friend Dave “Cocksucker” Smith always says “You suck one cock…”. 🙂
There is no appeasing the left, so don’t try.
Reminds me of the Welshman complaining to his friend, ” I got a Nobel Prize for World Peace , nobody bloody says a thing but I suck one cock…”
But a lady who had a relationship with an undercover police officer felt conned and violated just because she didn’t know he was a policeman and sought compensation for it. After reading about this case a few months ago, the thought crossed my mind, that deception such as this occurs in all contexts of romantic life. Seems I was right, doesn’t it?
Knew I had a song for this.
Violent Delight, Transmission “why do I end up with the trannies”.
and from the other point of view, same band
I Wish I Was A Girl
Both on YouTube NSFW.