Satan Won

The Church is no longer fit for purpose.

God could be referred to in ‘non-gendered’ terms during Church of England services for the first time, it can be revealed.

Breaking with centuries of tradition, bishops have announced they are launching a major ‘project on gendered language’ this spring.

It may suggest that priests can stop using the male pronouns ‘He’ and ‘Him’ when referring to God in some prayers, or even that they can drop the famous phrase ‘our Father’ from the start of the Lord’s Prayer.

I’m not religious, so on the one hand, this shouldn’t bother me. However, the Church should be a bastion of stability. It should not be riven by politics. It should have ministers who believe in God the father.

He added that although male pronouns have always been used to refer to God, Christians do not believe that God has a specific gender.

Really? So God the father isn’t gender specific?

Last night Father Marcus Walker, rector of the historic St Bartholomew The Great Church in London, said: ‘I just don’t think we should be misgendering God. He’s made clear what his preferred pronouns are – especially in his incarnation – so maybe we should just use them.’

That’s it. Play the buggers at their own game.

Meanwhile, the dark lord is pissing his pants.

18 Comments

  1. Err, you might want to change “Goth the father” … unless that’s a joke I’m REALLY not getting!

  2. Exasperated sigh. Increasingly often these days, you come across a daft idea that simply makes you want to tell those putting it forward to get a grip and grow up. When people use ‘he’, when talking of God, it isn’t a reference to a being with physical male characteristics but to a concept of someone or something that our language is unable to express except by using a flawed shorthand term that we are familiar with. Elementary I would have thought, whether or not you are a believer.

  3. Sounds to me like a double hit for the frankfurt marxists – do down male authority figures and do down the church. The commissars/bishops must be so proud.

  4. “Last night non gender parent Marcus Walker, rector of the historic St Bartholomew..”

    There, fixed it.

  5. So what will happen when referring to ships. They are always called “She”, even the ones with male names.

  6. Fair enough I suppose. I mean God did manage to asexually produce a son. Jesus though, he’s always referred to as the the ‘Son of God’, so if they wanted to take this nonsense to the next generation, they couldn’t. Jesus is catagorically male
    (They could always just stop believing in sky faries)

  7. I’m a non theist so this non-gendered business is just arguing about the gonads of an imaginary deity. Not offended, just bemused.

  8. I might have mentioned it here before but, being one of the few masochists who have read the Bible from cover to cover, I don’t quite get why Satan gets cast as the bad guy. The god depicted is a truly evil character, Satan is a bit mischievous but not really bad at all. He is also impeccably polite and he always tells the truth, unlike God who is an incorrigible liar. The beliefs promoted by the Church never were in any way connected with the Bible, their actual foundation document.

    I would expect our host to identify more with Satan due to his attitude to authority.

  9. Yes I got that. I also think that it’s worth mentioning the brilliant Radio Four comedy series Old Harry’s Game written by Andy Hamilton. My favourite episode involved a recently deceased health and safety officer who was very keen on informing Satan that his kingdom fell very short of current safety standards.

  10. I understand that, according to the Bible, and religious texts, Satan, Lucifer, or whatever name is given, was an Angel who was cast out of heaven for challenging a decision by God, so no free will there then. Moral – don’t ask questions – a bit like living in any dictatorship. Anyway, if Satan’s new job was to punish evil doers, doesn’t that make him a good guy?

    • Part of Satan’s job is to tempt people into being naughty in the first place. Right from the get go he is talking the first humans into misbehaving by seeking knowledge. Seeking knowledge of course is actually a good thing unless you are a church leader who knows that ignorant people are easier to exploit.

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