Willie Hutton, Comedian

I know it’s low hanging fruit, but I couldn’t resist.

It’s taken a brave football star to inject morality into our shaming debate on migrants

The definition of brave is being stretched somewhat here. Brave is walking into enemy machine gun fire while stepping over the bodies of your fallen comrades. Brave is walking into a burning building to rescue those trapped inside, brave is putting your life on the line for another. Making an inane, moronic, historically illiterate tweet is not, by any stretch of the imagination, ‘brave.’

In attacking the new asylum policy, Gary Lineker has left a stricken BBC floundering and shown the Tory right how it is misjudging Britain

This would be Britain in the Guardian sense, within the confines of the M25 – not the rest of the country where people have to deal with the consequences of this mass invasion. I suspect that the majority of Britons would quite like it to stop, actually. I really don’t think it’s the Tory right that is misjudging Britain here. The reason the BBC is floundering is because it let this wanker get away with it in the past and he has taken it as a green light to keep doing it, despite the royal charter requiring impartiality.

The Conservative party and its media outriders have overreached themselves in the Lineker affair. The “stop the boats” policy, which flouts democratic, legal and humanitarian standards to reach new heights of cruelty in our proposed treatment of asylum seekers, is not just another political controversy. 

Where do you start with such ignorant, hyperbolic bollocks? The people coming across the channel are funding the criminal gangs. Killing off the market is an effective way of stopping the crime. Bear in mind that the people who enter the country this way are breaking our laws. They are criminals. The majority are economic migrants seeking to undermine our visa system. There is nothing undemocratic about clamping down on lawlessness, nor is enforcing our borders undemocratic. Indeed, it is one of the things electors expect their government to do. Nor is deportation cruel, nor is it inhumane. No one has an absolute right to come here and stay and in that, we are no different to any other country.

The rest of it pretty much fisks itself. The usual ill-informed wankery you can expect from Hutton. It does epitomise the old always wrong all of the time nature of the Guardian, along with its skewed moral compass.