This story really hits home.
A widower killed himself just months after his wife’s death by taking painkillers prescribed to her when she had cancer, an inquest heard.
In the days following Mrs L’s death, There were boxes of morphine lying around. No one mentioned taking them away. Her body was taken, along with the hospital bed. To be fair, the hospice had left me information if I wanted to call them, but I didn’t do that and there was no follow up. I do remember looking at those packets of morphine and thinking how easy and painless it would be to take them and drift away. I really did come that close. So close that I packed them up and took them back to the issuing chemist and disposed of them.
I won’t say I got over it, you never really do, but those few moments of madness could have been fatal and I understand exactly why this man did what he did. The difference is that I didn’t.
Thank you for sharing that Mark; very few would be so honest without an agenda. I hope I never find myself in such a situation, though I can totally sympathise with the chap who took the other path, and admire your strength for sticking on this one.
Thankyou. As you say, no agenda. This story struck a very personal chord.
Until you are put into the situation of losing a long-term life-partner, it’s impossible to say how you’d react, because it’s impossible truly to envisage the situation of that loss.
Mrs M and I have been together for 50 years and we’re a welded double-act like Morecambe & Wise, having one without the other is unimaginable, I certainly can’t imagine it, neither do I want to, I guess she can’t either.
One day it will probably happen, that’s the time when the survivor will finally have to plot their solitary course, whatever that involves. Most of the time, I hope that survivor is not me, because I’ve no idea how I would manage it. Respect to those who handle it, however they do.
I’ve been married for thirty years and it’s hard to imagine how I would deal with it if my wife goes before I do. I sometimes become a little introspective after reading your posts on this subject.
Mrs Drakon and I have been married for almost ten years.
This guy in the story is the same age as me, which I wasn’t expecting and really made me think.
I don’t know how I would react if Mrs Drakon was gone, I’d like to think that I’d cope and get through it – we have two young hatchlings so I’d still have to care for them, self deletion isn’t an option.
God knows how I’d be if they weren’t around.
My deepest sympathies for anyone who loses their other half.
My wife and I were together for 29 years, she died 10 years ago from cancer, I am in another relationship now but I still think of my wife every single day.
My wife died last summer and like the story here, there is enough morphine in the house to kill an elephant. The same thoughts ran through my head as well. I got over it as I didn’t want to inflict anymore pain on my children and grandkids. I was a close run at one point though.
No doubt many men, recently widowed, felt the same way as that poor man. My wife died of heart failure after many years of a gradually weakening heart. When it happened, and she lost consciousness, I began CPR to try and keep her alive long enough for the paramedics to take over. I failed. There were no deadly tablets lying around, or else I would have taken them, my guilt at my failure was so strong, though I’m sure I must have gone through every internet combination of ways to commit suicide. I silently carried that guilt of killing my wife of 42 years, before breaking down in front of my family on the anniversary of her death, and it’s only the help and support from them that stopped the feelings of wanting to follow her. Six years now, and the pain and sense of loss hasn’t gone away. I just try and learn to live with it, and my heart goes out to anyone, male or female, who finds themselves in a similar situation.
A bit dusty in here chaps.
Just this week i spoke to an old colleague, he was still good friends with an old mutual colleague (they’d had a punch up at work at one time but buried the hatchet later), i rang him because i’d heard our mutual mate had died, and the circs have reflections here.
Hard working bloke he was, not far off retiring, 18 months ago his daughter died and bugger me a few months later his wife died of a rapid cancer (jabbed with dr mengeles filth i wouldn’t be surprised), then we here he died not 12 months later.
The story goes he drunk himself to death, my mate reckons he died of a broken heart and simply didn’t want to go on.
That brought back memories of my late brother, his wife was diamond of a girl, looked after him through his serious throat cancer, the awful operations he had, an the shadow of a man he was after.
Few years later and they’re getting by, he’s take early retirement because good pensions, wife goes for a lie down and just dies suddenly in bed.
He drank himself to death too.
I found a whole suitcase of letters, turned out to be their love letters between them while he was at sea, no i didn’t read them and made sure no bugger else could either because i burned the lot and buried the ashes in their plot.
Never thought of my brother as a romantic.
The old words are true, don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, its one reason why i have great sympathy with people who attempt suicide, you don’t know what that poor sod has gone through to arrive at a point where they can see no way out other than ending it.
Some 24 years now since my eldest son killed himself, has time healed things? not really but i’m no longer reduced to quite the snivelling wreck i was for 2 decades when something would trigger things and bring it all back to the moment.
The pain that caused his younger sister at a bad time in her young life was heartbreaking to see, as Apache above, please no more hurt in the lives of those left.
Glad you’re still with us LR and the other posters, one never forgets and nor should they, i am convinced we do our departed loved ones a better service by keeping their memory and the love we had for them alive in our hearts.