Having suffered with an enlarged prostate, I have been known to pull over at a layby to have a pee. Like the man in this story, I have always made an effort to find somewhere discreet. The idea that councils could be filming people and issuing FPNs is far more offensive than someone having a quick pee rather than wet themselves – and yes, there were times when that was highly likely if I didn’t stop.
It said: ‘Officers patrol public places in areas where littering is prevalent and are instructed to issue fixed penalty notices once they have witnessed a littering act.’
But the legal interpretation was challenged by celebrity lawyer Nick Freeman, also known as Mr Loophole, who said the legislation referred to items such as discarded cigarettes and chewing gum.
‘The very fact it doesn’t mention urine clearly indicates that urine is not actually a piece of litter or in any way littering,’ he said.
That’s because it isn’t. It is full of the kind of nitrates that fertilise the ground and is absorbed by plants. Sure, doing it in a built up area is unpleasant (but I recall once in France being caught short with nowhere to go and had to find a bush near a public park and Mrs L stood watch). These people have no idea just how debilitating it can be, and a lack of public conveniences means that sufferers have to be creative. I became very adept at sussing out suitably foliaged laybys on my regular routes, for example.
What we are seeing here is just another example of nasty jobsworthery from petty officials who do it because they can. Hang them, hang them all.
I am 77 years old and my aged waterworks are nowhere near as reliable as they were when I was younger. When I get the message “ALERT!! Bladder full, evacuation imminent!” it means NOW.
If this happens whilst I’m driving I seek a suitable place to pull over and stop. I exit the car, open both the front and rear near-side car doors and then relieve myself on the adjacent greenery. I cannot be seen from the road, I cannot be prosecuted for indecent exposure, and should any jobsworth seek to have me prosecuted for littering I would demand that a sample of the litter be shown to the Court!
I guess that’s all the country’s problems solved then if civil servants have nothing better to do than spy on people taking a piss. Isn’t it grand to live in the brave new world?
And this from councils who close every public convenience they can….
Just prior to my diagnosis for diabetes I had a similar problem. Had a road trip from Hull to the West Midlands to deliver a piece of industrial plant machinery. I would normally have stopped at Tamworth for a Pitstop but this time only made it as far as Woodhall services and then proceeded to stop at just about every service station along the way. Once I got off the motorway I had to try to find convenient places to go until I got to my destination. That was eleven years ago and, once I started getting treatment, the problem abated. Now at 65 years old the plumbing is starting to get a bit knackered and the usual old guy problem is starting to appear though nowhere near as bad. Bladder problems aside anyone who drives long distances is going to get caught short at some time or other anyway. The solution of course is to build more toilets but that would mean diverting money away from important things like diversity.
I’ve not had the strongest bladder all of my life and its not getting any better.
Lorry drivers have been peeing in laybys for years, presumably the council will be happy for half a dozen artics to pull up blocking the nearest high street every few minutes whilst said truck drivers with legs crossed all queue up at McDonalds, which is just about the only place to have a pee now the same bastard councils have closed all the bogs and all the local lorry parks to boot.
One of these jobsworths is going to get put on his arse if he starts creeping round trying to witness some truck driver having a discreet pee, hope i see it happen, probably piss mesen laughing.
On a similar plane: Some years ago we were coming home from holiday and stopped at the first services North of Paris on the A1. We were towing a caravan and so had to park in the lorry park. I opened my door to get out and was just about laid out by the smell of pee: the lorry park was awash with it because apparently it was just too much effort to walk to the toilets. We carried on to another service area where on entering the traditional French toilet I was greeted by the biggest log I’ve ever seen, carefully laid for display but nowhere near the drain. I blame EU residents taking a rare chance to flout the regulations.
I ought to be surprised that no ‘Wild Pee’ group has not been formed… but then old men somehow miss being counted as oppressed.
If it was women, there’d be a UN Committee about it.
During my fairly regular trips up north, I always carry a wide necked bottle (empty of course) in case I get the urge, which seems to be oftener and oftener these days. If no nearby toilet facilities, as mentioned above, I open the front and rear doors, face the car, and use the bottle, emptying it in an appropriate place and manner. PPPPPP (emphasis on the 4th ‘P’).
If peeing is now classed as littering, when can we expect councils to go after the millions of dogs (or their owners) which carry out this heinous act every day? In most cases they are taken out “for walkies” specifically so they can relieve themselves…