Marks & Spencer will tomorrow introduce its first ‘bottom enhancing pants’ – a little like a Wonder Bra for the rear, the £15 pair of shorts promise to help replenish what time and plummeting oestrogen levels took away.
These pants are not just intended to give you a bigger bottom — because let’s face it, certain niche, millionaire reality TV stars aside, who wants one of those? — but a more youthful one, by enhancing and ‘boosting’ the buttocks, making them appear higher and rounder.
Frankly, it just looks fake. Grow old gracefully.
Grow old gracefully!?
I’m afraid that ship sailed to Numenor long, long ago!
“Grow old gracefully.”
Having spent a lot of time around women who do distance running I can verify that saggy bottoms are not inevitable as one gets older. I’ve seen middle aged women who look like teenagers from behind.
I’d put that into growing old gracefully. I don’t mean giving up, I mean look after yourself, but accept the signs of aging with some dignity.
Yes, you need to accept that all you can do is to try to go downhill a little more slowly. Then again there is an 86 year old swimmer at the gym who holds several British age group records. I’m a pretty good swimmer but I can’t beat him on a 25 metre sprint.
Bottom enhancing? I’m reminded of Kenny Everett’s parody of Rod Stewart doing Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?
I am reminded of the wonderful poster that came with this.
Ladies on bicycles.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0
When will M&S introduce the bulging crotch slacks for men? Asking for a friend.