Lembit Öpik on Segways

I have to admire Lembit Öpik’s little bit of defiance today. The Segway may be a ridiculous invention that will only ever appeal to an odd minority, but any defiance against the government, no matter how quixotic, is a good thing.

Lembit opines in the Groan’s CIF on the subject:

The Segway PT (personal transporter) has the potential to do for personal transport what the mobile phone did for personal communication. It’s a funny looking device, with two wheels side by side, handlebars in front of you, and an on/off button. When you switch it on, two huge gyroscopes power up beneath your feet, and keep the Segway upright and more stable than an ordinary bicycle.

To move forward or back, you just lean, well, forward or back. To move left or right you simply move the handlebars accordingly. And that’s it. The average training time required is 90 seconds. Yes, in one and a half minutes you’ll be competent to use a Segway PT.

Yeah, well… I think I will stick to either walking or cycling, given the choice. Both have the added benefit of providing some exercise. Not to mention both are infinitely less twattish.

It’s range is 24 miles – good for most urban journeys, though I also use it in a rural area from village to village. And that’s not all. With a top speed of 12.5mph, it’s actually 5mph faster than the average speed of London traffic.

Good for him; if that’s what floats his boat. It does not, for me, “make a compelling case” for leaving the car at home, though. On the occasions when I need the car, it is because I need to travel a distance well in excess of 24 miles and I have luggage to carry. If it is within the range of a Segway, well, I’ll either walk or cycle. This is a choice, one of several choices. It is hardly “compelling”. Indeed, a less compelling mode of transport is difficult to envisage.

Frustratingly, our Department for Transport seems unable to commit to their use in the UK. Why?

I suspect that it has merely slipped under the radar. There aren’t hoards of Segway users crying out to use them on public roads. So, while I am inclined to agree that the DoT refusal to allow them on public roads is perhaps obtuse and should be reversed, I can also understand why they haven’t bothered with them.

So, a simple request to the folk at the ministry: let’s have some common sense please.

Yes, Lembit… And on that note…