Oh, for Fuck’s Sake!

I really must stop dipping into Comment is Free. The trouble is, it’s like a train wreck; appallingly enthralling in a strange kind of way. It does give an insight into the deranged mindset of the extreme lefty and enviroloon. Here is one such example from Nicholas Milton.

One of the qualities I admire most about the British is our eccentricity. We collect things from antiques to autographs and stamps to cigarette cards. We always form an orderly queue. And this weekend over half a million of us will take place in the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds’ Big Garden Birdwatch.

Okay, so far, so good.

But to slightly misquote the great American writer Oscar Levant, there is a thin line between eccentricity and madness. And people cross that line when they move from being keen garden amateur ornithologists to twitchers or birdwatchers who manically collect sightings of rare birds to form “year” and “life” lists.

I see. So because someone indulges in a hobby not shared by Nicholas Milton, they are mad. What a self-righteous fuckwit. Oh, but, as is always the case in the land of the righteous, it gets worse. Read on..

Since the mid-1980s, Lee Evans has held the UK annual record for bird sightings with a grand total of 383. In comparison you and I will be lucky to see 15 species in our gardens this weekend.

Yes? So? Evans is an enthusiast. Most of us are not. Some people are enthusiastic about train numbers, most of us are not. I like to ride motorcycles, most people do not. There is a pattern emerging here; what appeals to some does not appeal to others, so we leave people alone to enjoy their pursuits as it harms no one. Oh, but, according to Milton, fuckwit extraordinaire…

But to achieve this Evans has quite literally had to travel from one end of Britain to the other.

So?

Think of the carbon footprint that he or his bitter rival Adrian Riley must have clocked up in their lifetime

And that’s what it is all about – the fucking carbon footprint. Nicholas Milton, fuckwit, sanctimonious cunt and watermelon, doesn’t like the fact that these folk travel in pursuit of their interest because of his religious obsession with the mythical fucking carbon footprint in the sky. What an arsehole!

In his book Arrivals and Rivals: A Duel for the Winning Bird Riley proudly boosts that he drove 78,000 miles and spent over £8,000 of his own money in his 2002 quest to see more birds than Evans in Britain, a race he eventually won with a tally of 380, beating Evans by just one.

That’s over six times the average 12,000 miles a year that you or I do in our cars.

Actually, given my need to travel by car for work, mine will be edging in that direction – although I will be struggling to manage 78,000 miles. That is seriously going some. It is, however, no one else’s business. And if he spent eight grand, well, again, that is no one else’s business. It’s his hobby; leave him alone.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not an ornithological killjoy.

Yes, you are.

But as environmentalists I think we all need to take our responsibility to the planet seriously. Do the hundreds of grown men – and twitchers are nearly always men – who race up and down Britain in search of what are often quite common birds in their native countries ever think about the wider climatic implications of their actions?

Jesus, what a sanctimonious cunt. Look, if you shitheads stopped worshipping at the altar of global warming and thought just once about environmental matters that do affect the planet – such as deforestation, for example – you will realise that twitchers travelling around the country  are not the villains of the piece.

Some birdwatchers maintain twitching is just harmless fun.

It is.

But if most of the RSPB’s million-plus members suddenly gave up being garden bird spotters and instead became twitchers it would be a climate catastrophe. That in turn would mean more freak weather events, resulting in even more lost birds turning up on our shores.

And your evidence for this idiotic assertion is? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have any, do you. This is nothing more than your opprobrium being heaped on people who do something of which you disapprove. Go fuck yourself, you pompous, pious poltroon.

First they came for the fox hunters, then they came for the shooters, then they came for the smokers, the drinkers, the fatties and now it’s the twitchers.

The beast is never sated; it must be slain before it will stop.