Celibate for eight years.
Right now, as I write, I haven’t had sex in 3,089 days.(If I had known that the last time I had sex was going to be the last, I would have looked at the penis a bit more. I would have waved it off like a woman saying goodbye to her lover in 1941 before he went to war, never to be seen again.)
Not having sex seems to be taboo. In theory, I don’t think it should be, but based on people’s facial expressions when I tell them, it is.
Firstly, why would anyone be interested and secondly, would anyone be remotely surprised?
Click the link with caution and don’t blame me for any broken computer screens or spilled coffee.
Yeah. I wouldn’t phuq her with yours Longrider.
There’s a good reason she’s celibate. Too many cakes.
I guess some market offers can be a bit too … niche
Oh, my heart bleeds. Only eight?
Mind you, that said… I’m not *that* desperate.
Actually I think that she might be quite cute if she lost a fair bit of weight. The fact that she appears to be batshit crazy is more of a problem for me.
Masturbation not an option? Sex with the only person who totally understands you and knows your needs.
’If I had known that the last time I had sex was going to be the last, I would have looked at the penis a bit more.’
Bit on the nose. Most people refer to him as ‘my boyfriend’ or ‘the lover’!
Wearing shoes on the bed is a complete turn off, so it’s a no from me.
Not with a ten foot pole.