Noting Leg Iron’s comments today about his census form and Captain Ranty’s lawful rebellion, I thought I’d share how I’ve been getting on with it.
I had planned to fill it in with gibberish – homo sapiens for ethnicity and never worked and no vehicles, that kind of stuff.
Unfortunately, when it came to it, I just hadn’t the heart. I looked at all those questions and just couldn’t be bothered. I really do have better things to be doing with my time and if I want to indulge in a little fiction, I can probably find something more worthwhile to write. So, it’s still on the side, waiting to be completed. It probably has a long wait in store.
No one’s called round to nag me yet, but if they do, I’ll probably not be in, which is what happens most times the doorbell rings and I’m not expecting anyone I’ve invited (or the post). If they do catch me out, I’ll just blame the Royal Mail – they’ve got broad shoulders. In the end, apathy won out. Still, it shouldn’t be a problem, after all, the people in government told us that “An increasingly invasive and intrusive census will erode public support, cost more and result in a less accurate survey.” Put that way, I’m doing a public service.
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Further to all this, I see that on average, the return rate so far is about 70%, which is being spun as a good thing. Which it is, if you are a glass half full cove. If you are a glass half empty cove, it’s an encouraging 30% non-compliance, which is rather a lot…
“homo sapiens for ethnicity”
gibberish? How so? Ethnicity is not scientific, it’s merely what you consider yourself, and I defy anyone to prove to the contrary.
That was precisely the point, of course. The gibberish comment referred to the whole – in that much of it would not be true; the vehicles for example and my work history. And “homo sapiens” helps them not one jot in trying to pigeon-hole me. Which, again, was the point.
As it is, it remains uncompleted. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. I’m in no hurry.
I decided to join Leg Iron in claiming the religion of ‘Smoker’, but had to conceed that my 4 year old daughter is an ‘other’ – NOT YET DECIDED.
I discovered that it was quite simple to answer many of the questions very literally and with just enough bullshit to make my answers worthless but still not criminally mis-answered. I also made a LOT of mistakes which required much crossing out and made my ticks rather large to boot. I hope that doesn’t confuse Lockheed’s scanning software too much… Oh damn – I’ve just realised – I accidentally transposed the final two digits of my phone number as well. Never mind. It’s posted now…
From what I can remember of it. I kept within the boxes, but any writing was a rather hurried scrawl. I tried to remember what I had put on the last one and changed one or two things after thinking of an acceptable excuse as to why I would do so, just in case.
Religeon – I simply lied for both myself and Mrs M! Same about the size of the house.
Not a great blow for liberty, but at least a small couple of pecks that may help screw up their beloved statistics.
Posted it and the next day the Grumpy Old Sod issued a great way of giving them some real grief. Poo!
Why not claim that the intrusive questions are contrary to Article 8 of the 1998 Human Rights Act? That’s what I have done on the form and that is what I’m going to say to the Governments Census apparachnik if they send one round.
Ah, you have the same door-answering policy as me, L. 😉
Ticks? We were meant to put ticks? I thought it was a great big cross like the ballot papers. They, and the written bits, weren’t too tidy either, I filled it out in around 2 minutes IIRC.
One of the census police knocked on my door this afternoon. Now I am certain mine has been lost in the post already but told her it had been posted and she ticked the box, said “thanks”, and buggered off.
As an aside, she asked me my name and I said “no”. “Fair enough” said she, and commenced the earlier mentioned buggering off.
As a second aside, I had a quick curtain twitch as to her direction after she left mine and was _most_ gratified to see her go next door, then the next, and then the next.
On the weekend, I noticed a very pretty young woman come up to my door and I thought “Wayhey Geeks, now’s your chance” and started to walk towards the door before quickly remembering about the unfilled census, so I just stealthily left and went outside.
She rang the bell, then just deposited a reminder letter.
I’m not filling mine in, but will simply write a letter to the ONS insisting can they prove to me that they will not be selling the information to third party companies or organisations as marketing data.
And also to answer the question: if it’s all so important for planning, why make the religious question optional?
And what has my previous employer got to do with resource planning?
Thanks for the link LR.
I am expecting a knock at the door and I am expecting to be as awkward as possible. They are still writing to me as “The Occupier” so I am still signing off as “The Occupier”. They don’t have my name and they won’t get it from me. I have briefed my family in case one of them answers the door.
I’ll report back on the anticipated shenanigans.
CR.
Well I’ve submitted mine but have given the answers I want to all the questions I found intrusive and unacceptable. Thus ‘human’ for ‘ethnicity’. To the question as to my national identity, I replied ‘I don’t think in such terms’, which has the merit of being true. For job I put ‘various’ and for employment sector I put ‘consultancy’. For workplace, I put ‘home’, is sometimes true. They didn;t say how often. For health, I ticked all of them because it depends how I might feel. It is contemptible that people will go to jail for not filling in this bullshit
For those wondering how to fill in there census form, I can only suggest this – http://www.annaraccoon.com/politics/how-to-fill-in-the-census-form/
Or search on Google for “How to fill in the census form”.
Currently vying with the anti-LM lot for top billing on Google for anti-census searches.
I filled mine in vaguely accurately, but uninformatively. Can I help it if my job title is gibberish? I think not. I did however remember to use a variant of my name which has never, ever seen the light of day before. So, should someone call me by that appellation, I know where it has leaked from…
I did however remember to use a variant of my name which has never, ever seen the light of day before. So, should someone call me by that appellation, I know where it has leaked from…
Damn. I wish I had thought of that!