Jolly Roger Ahoy.

No, no, you did not.

In a letter, the authority said it wanted to “take the opportunity to apologise to you formally for the severity of the letter you received in relation to the pirate flag you were flying in the garden for your son, Anthony.”

“When we receive a planning related complaint, the council has a duty to write to make those concerned aware, but accept on this occasion our letter was over the top.”

Over the top is an understatement, so someone, somewhere, has a residual sense of humour, perhaps. The correct response upon receiving the complaint was not to write to the family flying the Jolly Roger, it was to write back to the complainant telling them to grow the fuck up.

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14 Comments

  1. And I’d imagine, like the similar cases featured on my local news, that the only reason the “authority” backed down was because of media involvement.

    Otherwise they’d have been more than happy to send round a goon squad if their orders weren’t obeyed.

  2. What stupid complainants! You don’t want to mess with people flying Pirate flags, they may have cannon and planks over their paddling pools too! 🙂

    As a matter of fact I was looking out my kitchen window the other day, and spotted something odd flapping in the breeze in my neighbour’s garden. I got the Binoculars on the job, and yes it is a Pirate Flag about six foot square (is this some kind of craze like Davy Crockett hats were to my generation?). It’s been there for weeks now. Nobody seems much fussed about it in Trendy and Bohemian St Andrews, Bristol.

  3. The council should have written to the complainent along the following lines:

    Dear Mr and/or Mrs po face miseable bastard (or whatever the surname is),

    We are a little unclear as to why you desire to see a 7 year old chid deprived of one of his very play things. Please provide more detail as to how this impinges on your sad, pathetic little lives.

    Furthermore, please be advised that Mr I M A Jobsworth will be coming around to discuss the matter with you and will take the opportunity while there to conduct a complete audit of your property for conformity with planning regulations, please allow 10 hours and 20 cups of tea for the visit.

  4. There was opportunity for a little fun here.

    Replace the Jolly Roger with a muslim brotherhood flag for the following week.

    The next week a very large pair of ladies bloomers could be hoisted.

    Then an Isreali flag.

    Irish flag on Paddys day.

    And so on……

  5. Maarrghk!
    Indeed – one still could.
    Wrong way round though ..
    An ULSTER flag on Paddy’s day, and an IRISH flag on 12th July …..

    • Not to worry. There won’t be a repeat. The reason he slipped through the net was because the comment was a believable one-liner that could have been interpreted as jest.

  6. Ah, the old “statutory duty to act” bollocks, also dutifully tweeted by the police when they arrest a law-abiding person over some ridiculous non-issue.

    “someone complained, so we were obliged by law to act on the complaint”

    Plausible, until you realise the hundreds of thousands of complaints they have regarding anti-social behaviour, etc which they ignore and do fuck all about.

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