Apparently I am not British

Those of us who did not support Andy Murray at Wimbledon are not British according to Michael Deacon.

Wimbledon 2012: if you didn’t support the Brit, you aren’t British.

Michael Deacon is baffled by the minority of viewers who refused to support Andy Murray at Wimbledon.

I am always puzzled by those who assume that we must support one person or team or other because of where we were born, rather than because of personal preference.

Frankly, the idea of watching –  let alone supporting –  someone in a game that involves batting a ball back and forth across a net leaves me cryogenically cold. I’d rather poke my eyes out with a burnt stick. So, no, I didn’t support Murray. I managed to go the whole two weeks of the insufferable bore-fest without seeing one single snippet of it, thank goodness.

Murray winning or losing is of no consequence to me. But then, I am not British enough, am I? Maybe that’s because I am English. Indeed, I become more English with every such idiotic pronouncement from jingoistic twats like Michael Deacon.

28 Comments

  1. I must be an Australian because I was cheering on Mark Webber on in the neeewow-neeeeeewow-neeewow* sport. I too ignored the tennis.

    * The sound of cars going round in circles.

    • A fond – if irrelevant memory: my father was a keen armchair motorsport fan but found the noise so soporific that he would invariably fall asleep after a dozen or so laps.

      He thus evolved the habit of watching the Grand Prix sitting in my grandmother’s rocking chair with a saucepan balanced on the back – if he dozed off, tghe pan would fall down and wake him with a resounding clatter.

  2. What is more disturbing is the fact that only when a shower of wankers play with their balls, is patriotism acceptable. “Fly the flag” any other time, and they look at you like you are some sort of neo nazi skinhead.

  3. XX SadButMadLad says:
    July 9, 2012 at 09:07

    I must be an Australian because I was cheering on Mark Webber on in the neeewow-neeeeeewow-neeewow* sport. I too ignored the tennis.

    * The sound of cars going round in circles.XX

    And heres me thinking it was a cat with a lisp.

    (Reply button keeps sending me to “unknown page” thingy. I DID try.)

      • I have this “Avenquest” thing. Never heard of it, don’t know how I caught it, can’t get rid of it, but it is a pain in the arse anyway, and kills cookies on a regular basis, particularly those regarding “reply” buttons. 👿

  4. Wasn’t there a famous Monty Python sketech about this, involving alien jellies?

  5. The Mitchell and Webb link was brilliant, from someone else who doesn’t get it. I have colleagues at work who discuss various matches and their outcomes at great length. When it comes to being boring they are up there with the train spotters when it comes to tranfers. I suspect that, though boring to outsiders, trainspotters are genius-level experts in their particular specialisation. Whereas footie fans are ponificating about transfers without having the first clue what they are talking about.

    • I suspect that, though boring to outsiders, trainspotters are genius-level experts in their particular specialisation.

      Actually, yes, they are. It still bypasses me, but it’s got more going for it than chasing a ball about. That is seriously tedious.

    • Lumping everyone who takes in interest in railways together and calling them ‘trainspotters’ and using the term as an acceptable form of abuse for anyone who doesn’t fit some media driven norm and have an interest in the things on the orthodox approved list, such as cars or reality TV is one of those ugly paradoxes of our oh so diverse and tolerant modern world*. Football is on that approved list but also subject to a lot of sneering and contempt as well and some of the comments here are doing that. Like railway enthusiasts football and sports fans generally are not a homogenous bunch, if you don’t get why many of us thoroughly enjoy them then it won’t be any use trying to persuade you otherwise but equally it doesn’t follow that there’s something deficient in those that do. The sort of partisanship that assumes that everyone must follow a particular person or team is absurd but it doesn’t really reflect how most sports fans think, although football can be very tribal. My main sporting interest is Cricket and that can be very tribal too but in a much more subtle and self deprecating way normally, which is part of the attraction, a shared sense of togetherness at a match without hatred for the opposition, the experience of an Ashes test for example which is driven by the fierce rivalry between England and Australia but with enormous respect for the old enemy – well on the English side anyway ! The identity with a nation here is actually just a scaffold that has enabled the edifice to grow over more than a century, after all what are the significant ethnic or cultural differences between England and Australia ? There are none really, still less between neighbouring counties but where would a Roses match be without the trans – Pennine rivalry ?

      * I’m not suggesting that this is what you are doing Stony, btw. Just having a bit of a moan about the way a perfectly harmless activity is regarded as a sign of social inadequacy.

      • I suffered greatly in my early years because I had no interest in football. The assumption then and now is that we should worship it – indeed the media has become obsessed with it. I worship no sport. My interests tend on the whole not to include sport with one exception, the Isle of Man TT. Every few years I make the trip, but in between, I take no notice. I have always taken an interest in old vehicles – road and rail.

        • Agreed the obsession with football has reached ridiculous proportions, I have a theory of why this is so but I won’t bore you with it ! I hated it at school as well and was averse for years despite always loving Cricket so I didn’t have an innate loathing for sport, just for being made to stand on a muddy freezing cold pitch whilst the play completely by-passed me due to my total uselessness. I hated Hockey even more, I usually ended up in goal, I could never follow the logic of putting the worst player in such a vital position, I’m just not suited to winter sports. I always enjoyed playing tennis though, despite being even worse at that than football.

  6. Between Moto GP races I heard the Wimbledon female commentator tell viewers that the Scottish FM “Alex Ferguson” had arrived to watch the game. Was making a coffee at the time so didn’t see which one it was. Ferguson is something big and respected in football. Alex Salmond is a complete pillock but the FM of Scotland.

    Then back to Moto GP. Love the sounds of the new entry level bikes. Only 250cc’s yet their drone is so much better than the old 125 cc screamers.

    And yes I too rooted for the Aussie… in the 800cc race; pity he nailed himself 3 corners from the finish.

  7. I am British and extremely proud to be so (though I’m not quite sure why – perhaps I am dreaming of a Britain that doesn’t actually exist), and I cherish the United Kingdom. However, I really couldn’t give a fiddler’s fart about Wimbledon, Andy Murray, David Cameron. Perhaps Britishness is the simple fact of “not giving a toss” about what is British and what isn’t?

    • XX Perhaps Britishness is the simple fact of “not giving a toss” about what is British and what isn’t? XX

      And that is why your dictatorship has been getting away with filling Britain with so much “what isn’t”, that it is “now not”.

  8. I watched the Murray game but did what the Scots do when England play football. I wore a Swiss football shirt!

  9. Personally, I am no sports fan – I will watch the occasional event (better if there’s an engine involved) – but I cannot find any emotions for those who a) treat it as a matter more important than life or death, and b) receive remuneration over a couple of months at a level which would take me some 15 or 20 years to earn.

    Please note the subtlety – I earn; they ‘receive remuneration’.

Comments are closed.