Via Leg Iron, we get some right-on Daily Mail hysteria being pumped out by a quack psychologist. This time the single issue bad guy is caffeine. And for those who try to convince us that the slippery slope from baccy to other products is a myth, well…
Dr James believes the risks caffeine poses to our health are so great that products that contain it should be taxed and restricted like cigarettes and alcohol. Sales to children in particular should be restricted.
Straight out of the tobacco control handbook. Yup, the bansturbators, never sated, never appeased, will always come back for more and every foodstuff, every drink, every little bit of pleasure will have a puritan, like some nasty little turd that just won’t go down, trying to ban it, regulate it or tax it to satisfy their own crazed, warped sense of power.
We are supposed to believe that caffeinated drinks are responsible for a child hanging himself. Indeed, the proof is there for us to see – an empty can by the body. Well, that proves it, then, case closed, never mind the difference between correlation and causation. The two things are the same as far as these cretins are concerned.
Furthermore, there is a ‘growing body of evidence’ which indicates that compared to alcohol alone, adding caffeine increases the risk of having unprotected sex, experiencing or committing sexual assault, drink driving and being violent.
Could they ramp up the hysterical, unfounded assertions any further? Oh, yes, indeed:
There is also evidence that caffeine consumption by children may also make them more likely to use alcohol, drugs and smoke in the future.
Jeebus. I expect it causes cancer, too.
The U.S. Food and Drug administration announced last year that it is investigating reports of five deaths being linked to Monster Energy drinks. The company has denied any link.
In the grand tradition of junk science that seems to be the flavour these days, we get a statistically insignificant sample and it is used as “evidence”.
Yes, sure, taking too much caffeine will be harmful. So is drinking too much water. Most of us – the vast majority – take it in moderation and should be left alone to carry on taking it in moderation. The bansturbators can fuck right off, frankly. Because (and I’m growing weary of saying this, but say it again, I must) it’s none of their damned business what we imbibe into our bodies. We neither need nor want their protection from ourselves.
When we allowed the tobacco monsters loose, we let a genie upon the world and it is rampaging across our liberties, trying to deprive us of every pleasure we have. That genie ain’t going back into its bottle any time soon.
Frankly, I’d be quite happy to see Dr James stuff a can of Monster where the sun don’t shine – preferably after it’s been dipped in nitric acid and wrapped in razor wire. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to drink caffeinated drinks in as large or small a quantity as I decide, as frequently as I choose.
At first I thought the whole thing might just be a satire. I looked at the names in the article, thinking I’d see a statement from “Mr. Maxwell House,” or a claim that fluoride was added to our water systems simply to make caffeine more addictive, or maybe just a heartfelt concern about the effect of coffee-brewing on global warming … but there were no such clues.
– MJM
Steady, LR, there’ll be a study next proving that drinking high caffeine drinks makes you hallucinate about Slippery Slopes. That must be it, because, as Debs Arnott pointed out years ago, there is no slippery slope because “tobacco is a unique product” – so the template couldn’t possibly be applied to anything else. And as we know, Mystic Debs knows everything and never, ever lies to get her own way …..
“it should be taxed and restricted…… so that only the rich of a certain age can afford to be (and allowed to be) pyschotic deviants.
Gosh 😐
Just put up on LI’s place …
I can see it now …
“It were the third cup o’ Nescaff wot dun in Yer ‘onour. ‘onest it were! I dahned it in one then went out and kicked the neighbour’s dog and then the neighbour. I dint know I wuz doin’ seveny dah the ‘igh Street when I hit them three kids. Honest! And shaggin’ the lollipop lady to a standstill was the furthest fing from me mind at the time. It were the caffeine wot dun it, Yer ‘onour, ‘onest it were”
This mitigation will be seen in a Crown Court near you soon.
Get the FACTS – BAN ‘Dihydrogen Monoxide’ and you will automatically reduce people’s intake of caffeine!
DHMO.org
Slippery slop is more like it. Consisting of a mixture of statistical waste and sour milk.
At this point in time the only study I’d be interested in reading about is what diet deficiency is causing all of these doctors to become so godawfully grouchy and tyrannical.
‘Scuse my earlier attempt to comment. I was jacked up on a lethal combination of hi-octane coffee and tobacco and overlooked the ‘please copy the string’ bit in my jangly stupor. Man alive, that’s certainly some brusque, powerful ‘in yur face’ rejection software there. Spammer beware.
Anyway, I’ve gotten over it now and we’re still friends.
Satire just keeps getting tougher and tougher out there. I saw the following article and the March 1st date and my first reaction was that they must have meant April 1st:
http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle/2013/mar/01/norway_government_wants_decrimin#comment-194957
– MJM
Speaking of satire getting tougher… Look at what just popped up today here in the US:
http://www.kgw.com/news/local/Wash-reps-email-drawing-ire-from-bike-community-194553321.html
Of the 20-odd commenters there, I seem to be the ONLY one to doubt the total seriousness of this guy’s concern about bicyclists causing air pollution.
– MJM