The line that won Dave’s Funniest Joke of The Fringe ran: “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
I’m inclined to suggest he goes back to selling paintbrushes. It isn’t funny. Sorry, not even remotely. In fact, it gets meh of the year award from me, it is so, well, unfunny.
I realise that humour is in the funny bone of the beholder, but this one, no matter how I look at it doesn’t even raise the Wispa of a smile. But, then, puns aren’t really my bag.
The second most popular line was spoken by Alex Horne: “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.”
Oh Jesus! We’ve gone from the banal to the dire. This is not funny. really, no, it is not.
A joke by Alfie Moore, the policeman-turned-comedian, came in third. “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”
I think I’m going to slit my wrists. That is just awful. Who, exactly, thinks this cack is remotely amusing, let alone funny?
This year his quip “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him: ‘Don’t be Sicily’” came in fourth.
That’s it! I’m out of here.
Can any of these idiots do anything other than dire puns?
“Ours was a generation grown up to find all gods dead, all wars fought, all faiths in man shaken” … and all good jokes already made.
A few decades of mass media have seen to that; these days, when someone says ‘Have you heard the one about…’, the answer is invariably, ‘Yes’.
Somehow, I’m reminded of Asimov’s short story ‘Jokester’.
(Spoiler alert ) Summarised at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jokester
Probaly the only “jokes” that will not get them locked up for offending some Paki, yid, Sand-nigger, Chink, Pikey, Spick, wop, coon, etc etc.
Rather more likely those who take it upon themselves to be offended on their behalf.
That said, I never found such jokes amusing anyway. I like clever humour and wordplay that makes you think, rather than the playground stuff we have seen here.
I wonder if any policeman has ever managed to keep a straight face while telling a woman she has the right to remain silent.
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Yup, it’s playground stuff – but I’ve always believed (and still do at 63) that whilst growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional…
OK, I’ll get my coat and make a getaway before the round of flaming that’s going to be coming my way… 😉
I rather liked ………I can explain anaphylactic shock in a nutshel. And the universe implodes………no matter.
And the old………….why has George Michael got a chocolate moustache? Because he was careless with his Wispa.
I’ll get me coat………………
Having just read this article on Yahoo http://uk.news.yahoo.com/queens-swan-found-cooked-near-windsor-castle-122550064.html#mC6ROgS
I had to wipe the tears of laughter from my face.
Not because the poor swan involved was BBQ’d probably by some idiot eastern European but because A/ yahoo news said this – From the swan lifeline rescue lady “She added: “We have shot swans from time to time” No yahoo I don’t think Sawn Lifeline SHOOT the swans. But the real corker was this line….B/ “She said the carcass was taken back to the Swan Lifeline centre to be cremated.” Now please tell me is it just me??? Does anyone else see the IRONY here?
So they are complaining the swan was BBQ’d and then they add insult to injury and CREMATE it!
Now that is a far funnier joke than the winner of the fringe festival.
Odd, isn’t it, how the people who will declare a BBQ swan ‘gruesome’ would probably salivate over Peking Duck or a Christmas goose.
Cygnets were highly prized for their gourmet qualities and were often served at banquets. Anyone caught stealing the birds was severely punished.
Of course, if you happen to be royalty, then it’s perfectly ok to BBQ the odd swan here and there. But if you are from the lower orders, then it’s, well, gruesome. And you’ll be severely punished.
Know your place.
Being a vegetarian I wouldn’t give you a thank you for BBQ’d anything least of all a swan!
I don’t salivate over meat full stop.
In Henry the 8th day it was all the rage so History informs us, but then most people seem prepared to put almost anything in their mouths if they are told it’s good for them or that it tastes nice.
Personally I am a little more selective.
I think in olden times the very extravagance of the menu was also part of the appeal,a sort of “look how rich and cultured I am” sort of thing,when cane suger first became readily available (to the very rich only,natch) to have black and rotted teeth actually became fashionable and was copied by the less well off who would blacken their own teeth to ape their social betters.
Some of those puns are so bad they could be automatically generated by a computer program.