I get really pissed off when journalists and politicians try to project their weakness (not to mention their lack of critical thinking) on the rest of us. So it is with Tom Fordy. We start on a high:
Is there a misogynist inside every man?
To which the answer is, “no”. Another thing that pisses me off is the way that words such as misogyny are bandied about with such abandon, they have long since abandoned their meaning. Misogyny means to hate women. I don’t actually know any man who hates women.
I can’t be the only man confused about misogyny.
Don’t look at me. I’m not. So I reckon you must be.
From Julie Gillard to American Apparel’s Dov Charney, In recent months, social media has been rife with discussion on the issue, a problem apparently so widespread that men – ordinary, right-minded men who do not abuse women – are unable to defend themselves for fear of being labelled as part of the problem, not the solution. But do we even have the right to defence? Are we actually in need of a long hard look in the mirror?
Nope. It isn’t widespread unless you subscribe to the extreme feminist interpretation of misogyny which, frankly means “being male”.
Men, quick to distance themselves from acts of misogyny have argued that not all men are guilty;
Because we are not.
feminist commentators have responded by saying that even if that’s true, all women are forced to live in fear of it.
Really? Clearly the women I know have missed that one. Because, you see, they just get on with their lives, mixing with members of the opposite sex without any fear whatsoever. That’s what ordinary people do – rub along.
Like all – yes, all – men, I can’t truthfully understand what it feels like for a woman to suffer harassment or abuse from men.
Yes, I can. So more bollocks. Speak for yourself, not the rest of us.
But recently I’ve begun to wonder whether the “not all men” defence is really much of a defence at all. Is it really just a way of derailing the conversation instead of listening and trying to understand how to change our culture for the better?
If you want to listen to the extreme feminist argument until your brains leak out of your ears, go right ahead, but the “not all men” defence is valid because it is factually true.
I found myself spending more time considering what it actually means to be a misogynist – how men talk about women, the language we use, the way we look at them. And let’s be honest here – even the most liberal of us have done it.
Yeah, because even looking at a woman is misogyny now. Jeebus!
Bantering with your mates about an attractive woman in the office, or catching a sideways glance on the train. Is this misogynistic abuse? Sexist?
No, it isn’t. It is normal human behaviour. It’s how the sexes communicate attraction to each other (and you clearly haven’t listed to women bantering about men, have you?). If we didn’t, we would die out in a generation – and given the kind of dreck being dished up here, maybe that’s no bad thing.
Or simply a patriarchal conditioning so ingrained that it’s become invisible to us? Perhaps it’s a matter of semantics and interpretation. Which is easy for a man to say.
No, it’s just pretentious cockwaffle.
The “not all men” debate gained serious momentum following the Santa Barbara shootings last month, when 22-year-old Elliot Rodgers set out to “punish” the girls who had rejected him. It’s an extreme, horrific case, but something about it – most notably the disturbing YouTube video Rodgers posted detailing his warped crusade – struck a rather uncomfortable chord with me and my male friends.
You missed the bit about most of his victims being men… And are you seriously using the behaviour of one nutter to measure the rest of us? The fact that the majority – the vast majority – of men do not go on a killing spree when spurned tells us that we are not misogynists. And using this loon as an example and trying to draw parallels with the ordinary majority is fucking insulting, frankly. If it struck an uncomfortable chord with you for any other reason that how did humanity produce such a vile cunt, then you are a complete tool.
It’s hysterical to accuse every man who’s experienced this sort of angst of being a misogynist, and yet that seems to be where certain feminists are coming from.
So don’t do it, then.
Perhaps we’re all recovering misogynists, slowly learning how to break away from the ideologies shaped by centuries of male dominance.
Speak for yourself. I’m not. Nor are any of the men I know.
I don’t think it’s a matter of radically changing our ways; it’s a matter of becoming more thoughtful and not being too arrogant to admit when we don’t entirely understand the issue.
I understand it perfectly, thanks. And it isn’t misogyny and men are not routinely misogynists.
But I would say that. I’m a bloke.
So am I, doesn’t make a blind bit of difference – the charge of misogyny is false – always was false and will continue to be false. The men who hate women and therefore deserve the label misogynist are rare.
“But I would say that. I’m a bloke.”
Then why are you writing like some grief whore in the Grauniad, Fanny-Fart?
The DT’s really lost it. This is boilerplate Leftie pigswill.
Pretty much all the men I know absolutely LOVE women! It’s one of the things which I most like about this country is that historically, even way, way, before we had equal rights laws etc etc, English men were renowned for treating their women with extraordinary respect and kindness. Of course, way back in the day there was inequality and genuine unfairness which was entrenched in the law which needed to be addressed (as it now has been), but even back then Englishmen comparatively speaking, of course, were “real gentlemen” to their ladies, by and large, and those who didn’t were treated with no small measure of contempt for being “ungentlemanly,” as indeed they still are. When was the last time that a wife-beater bragged about thumping his missus in the pub? Not for many years, and any who do are quickly disabused (by the other blokes) of any notion that this is the behaviour of a “real man.”
This is one of the areas in which I feel that English people can be proud of themselves. Perhaps it’s just a manifestation of our deep sense of fair play – who knows? But whatever the reason, it’s one of the few remaining things that we can still feel proud about. I’d even go so far as to say that our deep suspicion towards the Islamic faith has its roots , not solely, but very prominently in their appalling treatment of their womenfolk, particularly those womenfolk who don’t do precisely as they are told (although those who do don’t get a particularly easy ride, either).
Our present-day Wimmin’s Movement, having achieved all the good things that they did in the latter half of the last century – and as someone who has benefitted from these, I’m the first to give credit where it’s due – are now having to cast about for a new reason to justify their existence, now that their real, genuine one is as good as completed. And attacking something good by pretending it’s actually terrible is one of the ways that once-wellmeaning-but-now-functionless groups achieve this – just take a look at the anti-smoking movement if you want a more obvious example. So I guess it’s not surprising that they’ve started down this “all men are misogynists in disguise” line, even if it’s patently obviously – at least here in the UK – complete rubbish. Perhaps someone could point out to them that there are a whole host of non-Western countries around the world where their brand of protesting is in extremely short supply and, unlike here, in those countries there are huge numbers of “sisters” who genuinely, desperately need their help …
Precisely. You win the thread.
Any “man” who gets into a state because he’s worried about what a bunch of harridan trolls thinks deserves everything he gets as far as I’m concerned.
” Bantering with your mates about an attractive woman in the office.”
When I was younger, I worked in a customer service department where I was the only man. Having previously worked in a Garage with mechanics and other oily-handed sons of toil, I can honestly say it was pretty eye-opening for me to hear how women talk about men when they’re in the majority. They discuss everything, and I mean everything, about their boyfriends, husbands and men they work with in the most explicit and derogatory way.