I find myself agreeing with Bidisha.
These stunts give me the creeps, and say more about the self-regard of the person proposing than their regard for their partner. It is as though they have fixed their eye on a goal and are showing the world they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want. It’s an egotistical way of earning yourself good PR and generating a dinner party anecdote that will probably outlast the marriage. It’s also a form of emotional blackmail. How can anyone say no when there’s a camera in their face and everyone’s watching? How could they possibly spoil the other person’s fun?
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Although there was a video doing the rounds a few years back where the young lady did just that in front of a packed basketball stadium.
Anyway, me agreeing with Bidisha. That’s seriously weird. Normal service will resume shortly…
“Here’s a proposal: keep your private moments to yourself
Public whining gives me the creeps. They’re more about ego and self-regard than genuine anger”
Oh, Christ, it’s bash men with bad taste time. Acceptance through embarrassment doesn’t mean that you have to go through with it. After all, the wedding’s going to cost a bit, financially and emotionally. Don’t big weddings shame the participants into holding on, no matter how discreet the proposal?
But it’s a bit better than being forcibly married to a cousin or someone else your parents chose for you, hmmmm? Ah, but that’s Their Culture and it Must be Respected.
So I agree with you, LR, Bidisha’s right. Public proposals are vulgar and naff. But there is usually no honour killing at stake.
Each to their own. Live with it.
I do agree with you that it is pretty naff way to propose, but the beauty of our still-free (just) society is that they can do that in public, and you can moan about it in public.
Both of you appear to have missed the “humour” tag…
While I do find that ostentatious public marriage proposals are distasteful, crass, egotistic and self-centred – for the reasons Bidisha gives – it isn’t about bashing white males (well, except those who go in for such juvenile behaviour), nor has it anything to do with Islam. Nor, for that matter, am I suggesting that people bow to my sensibilities. I am merely pointing out – as is Bidisha – that such behaviour is crass, boorish and inconsiderate of the person being proposed to. And in the case of the chap in the Netherlands that triggered the discussion, the neighbour whose roof the idiot trashed.
However, my main thrust here was that I am in agreement with Bidisha and I never thought that would happen. I found it amusing.