Well, there’s a surprise…
Independence is a personality trait that’s highly valued and means you can ‘go it alone’ and ‘get things done’ without relying on others.
But being too independent can be damaging to your overall wellbeing, an expert has warned, and drive you further from those you might be hoping to impress.
So-called hyper-independence is defined by a desire to refuse help from others and attempt to handle any and all issues alone, even when this means the individual is more likely to struggle and suffer.
These people see accepting other people’s help as a sign of weakness, and will put more pressure on themselves to be able to cope with highly stressful situation.
I looked at the nine indicators and I check all of them… That’s me done for then. Hyper independent. As if I didn’t already know this. I’m also a borderline hermit and grouch.
# me too
And me !
Same here, but I’m not just a borderline grouch: I persevered to the point where I believe I’m almost a consummate grouch. Keep at it – you’ll get there.
“…an expert has warned…”
What he really said was ‘Gimmie money and I’ll ‘fix’ you’…
Fortunately I don’t feel any need to be fixed, so I’m going to save a packet.
I tick most of the boxes too. On the other hand I’m mostly cheerful and outgoing, I am fairly extroverted really. One of my reasons for not wanting people’s help with stuff is that they often don’t do it to my satisfaction and I end up having to re do it. So in the end I might as well have done it myself anyway.
I scored a pitiful 5/9, however Stonyground is spot on – by the time I’ve explained what needs to be done (at least twice), waited for it to be done (usually late), checked it and corrected the mistakes it’s nearly always quicker to just do it myself. If you find yourself working with someone where this it not true, hang on to them for dear life!
“An expert has warned…” Oh, Gawd!
Yeah I don’t get that bit, as if being independent is some kind of disability. I’m perfectly happy with the way I am actually Mr. Expert, maybe you need to update your information.
“Do you often find yourself doing things on your own”
When you live on your own that goes with the territory…
@Stonyground – A classic example was when I got a local company round to trim my old Hawthorn tree. The boss turned up to give me quote, and I explained what I wanted doing. A week later he returned, with a gang of “Youngsters” (there is no better way of describing them), and proceeded to unload their kit. He spent a minute talking to them and then buggered off. Fortunately, I kept a discreet eye on proceedings, as one started hacking away MUCH lower than I wanted. I had to intervene sharpish and pretty much tell them what to do…
“I’m also a borderline hermit and grouch”
Seconded.
Dear Mr Longrider
I wonder when ‘expert’ will become a term of abuse.
DP
Seven of nine, what does that make me!?
Resistance is futile.
Yep. That’s me. In fairness, I will admit that it can be a problem. I absolutely have wrecked my life, multiple times, by failing to seek help when I should have. However I suspect I’d draw the line far, far closer to the extreme than the Mail‘s “experts”.
If you think that I am going to categorised by some jumped-up anally retentive Nosey-Parker with OCD, well ………….
Fortunately I don’t feel any need to be fixed, so I’m going to save a packet. Those days of “if it aint broke don’t fix it” are over now. You may be asymptomatic .