Ahoy, the Food Police

Deep into a self created recession, an incompetent control freakish government can think of nothing better to do than waste yet more of our money patronising us and meddling in our lives.

Home cooks will also be told what size portions to prepare, taught to understand “best before” dates and urged to make more use of their freezers.

You what? Mrs L and I are perfectly capable of working out portions and reading packets – even French ones. Not sure what a freezer is for, though. Is that where you keep the bodies of government nosy parkers before final disposal?

The officials will be called “food champions”.

Groan. Face-palm. Whenever I hear the term “champion” it has much the same effect as the term “tsar”. It means yet more waste of taxpayers’ money on a meaningless exercise in control freakery.

However, they were dismissed last night as “food police” by critics who called the scheme an example of “excessive government nannying”.

The latter is a more accurate description. It is deeply patronising at best. At worst is it excessive interfering.

In an initial seven-week trial, eight officials will call at 24,500 homes, dishing out advice and recipes. The officials, each of whom has received a day’s training, will paid up to £8.49 an hour, with a bonus for working on Saturdays.

So after a day’s training they know no more than the householder they are about to patronise with this bollocks – indeed, probably less.

Peter Ainsworth, the shadow environment secretary, said: “You might have thought, at a time of economic hardship, that spending public money on stating the obvious is hardly a priority. With household budgets under pressure, most people are looking to spend wisely and waste less anyway.”

You might, old bean, but after twelve years of this government, nothing surprises me any more.

The “food champions”, who will be employed by a private contractor, will advise householders to plan their shopping carefully so that they do not over-cater. They will explain the difference between “best before”, “use by” and “sell by” dates, and will give out tips for home composting.

Jesus! Look, I can read a label, it isn’t difficult and if someone was to knock on my door to tell me how to do so, a flea in the ear will follow tout suite. Presumably the compost heap is where you put the contents of the freezer when you’ve got it good and ready.

Tim Burns, from Waste Watch – the contractor carrying out the scheme for WRAP – said: “Food waste has such a high impact on climate change and it is something we can all do something about.”

Oh, Bollocks, more watermelon twaddle.

Still, I doubt these bastards will be bothering me down in the Languedoc…

H/T Thylacosmilus

5 Comments

  1. Who the fuck are they employing, Superwoman?

    24,500 visited by 8 of these people is 3062 homes each. So that will be 437 homes per week, each. Assuming they work a 6 day week for the extra money that will be 72 homes per day or 9 per hour. If any of my suppliers came with that sort of planning they would get short shrift.

    Or maybe they just expect to be told to fuck off every time they knock on a door, its just about achievable then if they’re in a large block of flats.

  2. It’s quite difficult to tell how much you should eat. I mean, it’s not as if your body is programmed to tell you when you are full.

  3. A relative works for WRAP. She finds this all highly amusing – and yes, she thinks it’s a load of patronising crap too.

  4. “Or maybe they just expect to be told to fuck off every time they knock on a door” Hardly, they’ll be added to the list of people who can break into your home. People will come home from work to find the door battered down, a business card from their local food champion and a report on what was found in the fridge, freezer and waste bin (and noting the absence of a compost heap in their 23rd floor apartment).

    People have a clear choice, modify your behaviour or it will be modified for you, the government can’t be fairer than that.

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