I don’t fly much. Indeed, I haven’t flown since about 2003. However, as I’m taking a longer trip to the UK this time, I thought I’d experiment with flying home in the middle for a long weekend. The idea being, that if it works out okay, I’ll do longer trips with short breaks back home.
The flight was cheap enough, but it seems that air travel has stress built into it. Going to the wrong car park at Bristol airport didn’t help. Nor did finding out that I had printed out two copies of the boarding pass for the return trip instead of one out and one return, costing me £40 for a replacement.
Oh, no, this was nothing compared to the farce that is security. This is the first time I’ve flown since the absurd liquid rules came into place. Being aware of this, I made sure I’d taken everything out of my computer bag that might be a problem. After all, I didn’t want to have hassle over the potentially explosive tube of Lanacane or bottle of Sudafed, those well known terrorist tools.
So, along with all the other suffering passengers, I queued, took off my jacket and belt and took all electrical items out of my bag. However, I had forgotten my ink. Yup, my fountain pen needs ink and tucked into a pocket I’d completely forgotten was a small bottle of ink. This then involved a lecture about the new regulations on liquid – after all, I might just want to blow up a plane with my bottle of ink. What I had not done, which I must absolutely do, is put it in a plastic bag that I could buy for a quid. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any UK currency on me. I waited patiently (seething under my breath, but outwardly patiently) for the bag checker who told me that one of the machines took Euros. Having got one of these wonderful plastic bags, he popped the bottle of explosive ink into it, sealed it and put it into the pocket in my computer bag. So that was it. Explosive ink is okay if it is in a plastic bag – that makes it all okay.
What fucking moron came up with that one? A plastic bag salesman? Your bottle of liquid (providing it is 100ml or less) is rendered harmless, apparently, if it is in a plastic bag, FFS!
That’s it. They’ve won. If Osama Bin Laden is still alive in a cave somewhere, he will be wetting himself over the hassle and humiliation air travellers face, not to mention government ministers rubbing themselves up over the farcical theatre pantomime of security. An unholy alliance of incompetent jihadists and inept, authoritarian government has won. We lost. God help us.
“Oh, no, this was nothing compared to the farce that is security.”
Oh, yes indeed. Airport security employs the people that are too dim and overfond of regulation to get in to the British Transport Police…
.-= My last blog ..Can Someone Tell Me Why This Is Regarded As A ‘Tragedy’? =-.
Farce is about right. I flew out of Heathrow to the US last weekend and it was ridiculous.
Not only did I have to put up with passport control but I then had to a repeat at the gate. All told I had my handbag searched twice, my boots off twice, a pat down, belt removed, laptop out both times and the external DVD drive stared at like it was something from Mars but they didn’t kick up a fuss at my hand cream not being in a plastic bag.
All topped off with US immigration taking my finger prints, photographing me and generally treating me like something they wouldn’t scrape off the bottom of their shoe.
Could it be that this is all supposed to deter people from bothering and thus claim success in lowering our carbon footprint?
Well, I did read over the weekend that OBL is worried about climate change, so perhaps the unholy alliance isn’t so far fetched after all… 😉
As for deterring me – no. I’ll grit my teeth and bear it so that I can get home more frequently.
It really is quite astonishing. The personnel are more like town centre thugs than the kind, pleasant airport security that there should be. I don’t know what they think they are getting at but I’m sure there are people there who get a kick out of treating people like shit.
I think I will go for a beer in the Wetherspoon’s in future to combat stress. Even if it does happen to be 8am.