Arsehole of the Day

Dr Clive Mowforth.

This vile scumbag has decided to declare war on his neighbours’ cats because, wait for it, wait for it, they “murder” the wildlife. No, they do not. They are predators  and predators hunt.  This wanker has instructed his neighbours to control their cats or face consequences. That sounds like a threat to me. Not least, cats are protected under law. Also, unlike dogs that this cretin has decided to compare them to, they are not fully owned. You cannot control where a cat goes, unlike a dog, which is a pack animal.  Cats hunt. Get used to it. A predator hunting is not murder – that is gross anthropomorphism – and only the very stupid will try to make such a claim.

Sure, it is upsetting when they take birds. It annoys me when they bring in the occasional frog – however, as the RSPB has noted, they do not decimate the wildlife and in reality, their impact is minimal – despite the anti-cat nutters’ claims to the contrary.

It is likely that most of the birds killed by cats would have died anyway from other causes before the next breeding season, so cats are unlikely to have a major impact on populations. If their predation was additional to these other causes of mortality, this might have a serious impact on bird populations.

Populations of species that are most abundant in gardens tend to be increasing, despite the presence of cats. Blue tits, for example, the second most frequently caught birds, have increased by over a quarter across the UK since 1966. Of the birds most frequently caught by cats in gardens, only two (house sparrow and starling) have shown declines in breeding population across a range of habitats during the last six years.

The reality is that they will take those animals incapable of avoiding them –  predation  strengthens the gene pool of the prey. This is basic natural selection and this vile creature should realise this being a scientist. Although, given the somewhat parlous state of modern science, it doesn’t surprise me that the man is clearly a cretin. And controlling them – for fuck’s sake! Has he never heard the cliché about herding cats? You don’t control cats – that is their appeal, their independence, the fact that they are free spirits that roam where they choose. If Mowforth doesn’t want  them in his garden, then it is his responsibility to put in place suitable deterrents at his expense. Otherwise, tough shit. And the holes in his garden are just as likely to be caused by badgers as they will dig and defecate in the holes as part of their territorial marking. Perhaps Mowforth would like to have them controlled as well? Or he could do what adults do and just fill the holes in – that’s what I do when the badgers leave my lawn full of holes. It’s no big deal. Animals cannot and should not be held to the same standards as people. Only an idiot would try, just as only an idiot  would expect people to control where their cats go.

If I received such a threat from a neighbour, I would do as I did when our cats were threatened a few years back – remind them of the law and that if any harm came to  my animals as a consequence of their actions, I would take the matter up with the police and I would press charges. I don’t much like the RSPCA, but, yes, I would use them when dealing with these people. In this instance, the RSPCA is the lesser of two evils.

Frankly, arseholes like Clive Mowforth remind me why I tend to prefer cats to people. They are better company and far more civilised.

20 Comments

  1. My house is right on the road and has a front garden about 18″ wide that I’ve planted with box pyramids and a some evergreen shrubs. It seems to be a magnet for dogs to piss on while they’re owners hold the lead and let them. The piss kills the plants. Unfortunately for them, I use the kitchen table when using the laptop and can see the bastards when they stop.

    Last week some bastard was stupid enough for me to spot so I yelled at him through the window and then went outside and had a go at him. “What am I supposed to do?” he says. “The dog has to piss somewhere and I can’t stop it.” “No” says I, ” but you could pull it away from my property! It kills the plants.”

    The barrack room lawyer then proceeds to tell me that dogs are like cats and can piss where they like. I explained the difference as in your above piece. I told him I would follow him home and piss on his doorstep and see how he liked it. “You can’t do that” he says, “it’s illegal!” As I pointed out to him, so was letting his dog piss on my garden. So having pointed out to each other that we each thought the other was a total c*nt, he threatens to stick one on me if I don’t f*ck off. I put my hands in my pockets and offer him the first swing explaining that he won’t get the chance for a second one at which point he buggers off cursing me and hasn’t been seen back here since.

    Such people are just scum. The trouble is, there’s loads of them about these days…

  2. My old folks’ cat – George – has killed every bird in the garden. Two coal tits and a tree sparrow in an afternoon but three a week is his average. Tame blackbird (which used to rap the window to get his biscuit) shrews, frogs, butterflies, he’s had the lot. There used to be 11species of bird nesting or visiting – now there’s a single magpie who fears neither God nor George. He’s a nice enough pet is George but he hasn’t had a minimal impact – he’s a menace to anything that moves.

    • See below. George is a rarity – and. likely as not, the bird population has not been killed, it has learned to keep a healthy distance as those that didn’t paid the price.

      • LR and Jax. I have a cat myself, she’s oldish now, 16 or so, and doesn’t bother much with birds. Even when she was young the annual tally (that I know of, ie brought back to the house) was maybe a mix of six or eight birds and mice.
        George has killed everything from goldcrests to blackbirds. He gets well fed by affluent owners and isn’t hunting from hunger.
        He is probably more bloodthirsty than most cats as my cat and those of the neighbours catch birds once in a while whereas George caught them frequently until there were few left as visitors rather than residents, which he stalks whenever he’s let outside.

  3. Maybe so, Richard, but he’s a rarity. The main reason that cats are not greatly harmful to wildlife, as the RSPB state, is because they don’t have to be, because they are well fed at home and so don’t need to go out hunting in the determined kind of way that a non-domesticated moggy does. True, if an unwise bird or mouse appears within grabbing distance, most cats’ hunting instincts won’t be able to resist the urge to try and catch it, but it’ll rarely be more than one or two small animals a week at most – as opposed to the half-dozen or so a day that a wild or semi-wild cat will munch its way through on a daily basis just to feed itself sufficiently. Even cats which are bought specifically as “ratters” e.g. on farms etc, won’t end up killing and eating all the small mammals/birds on their patch – after the first few “kills” many will simply stay away, so that the cat will act more as a deterrent than as an exterminator (one of the reasons why cats’ territories tend to be quite large). Very efficient hunters, like George, don’t occur very often amongst the “pet” cat population, because they don’t need to.

    • You got there before me. We live in a neighbourhood that has a large feline population. We have ten of our own, yet birds coexist in this environment. It is not unusual for the blackbirds to come into the garden grubbing for food in sight of one or more of the cats. There are various tits, jays and wood pigeons and they are rarely taken by cats. The primary prey is mice. So a voracious bird killer is a rare beast – for the most part birds can escape cats because they can fly and cats can’t. If the bird isn’t quick enough, likely as not, there is something else going on and the bird was done for anyway.

      I’ve lived with cats all of my life and in that time, my observations match those of the RSPB. The “cat serial killer” stuff is propaganda put about by cat haters, for every regular hunter there are many that can’t be bothered. And if people don’t want cats in their garden, there are simple and low cost solutions, but instead of using those, they prefer to complain about cats “murdering” wildlife. As soon as I hear the term murder used, the shit-for-brains using it has lost the argument and I treat both them and their complaint with the contempt it so richly deserves.

      • It’s easy to keep cats out of your garden – just get a dog. My dog thinks cats make a tasty snack, ever since he killed and partially ate the neighbours cat that used to come into the garden and crap all over I haven’t seen a single one. 😀

        • He has a dog. Not all cats are afraid of them. One of ours left us for a house with a dog – the two of them would curl up together on my neighbour’s sofa. There’s no accounting for taste.

          • I can remember watching a dog being seen off by a cat. A large alsatian / labrador cross was allowed to roam in housing estate by its owner, and often tried to find smaller dogs to fight with. It jumped into one garden and started on the little dog which ran indoors followed by the larger dog.. Next thing we saw was the large dog running out of the house, with a cat riding on its back, obviously with its claws out, and into the dog’s skin, like a cowboy at a rodeo. I wonder why the big dog never came back there to pick another fight with the little dog.

      • Well, quite. Send threatening letters to your neighbours and then act all perplexed and hurt when they threaten you back. Clearly we have a nutter here.

        Apparently, he is now threatening to leave Dursley. I’m sure the fellow residents are heartbroken at the prospect.

    • Oh, my…

      And he doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of private property either. He could just join the golf club, but I suspect they might not want him as a member.

  4. I had a cat for 16 years. He once brought a blackbird home (I came home one day and found bits of it all over the floor) and on other occasions two small rodents. He may well have taken a few more that I was not aware of.

    But I killed far more birds in my car. Shitehawks mainly, the younger ones who had yet to develop that knack of lifting off at the last second. I also got a tree rat once.

    This isn’t about cats. As with every other bansturbator and nazi block warden. Its people this clown doesn’t like and cats are just the excuse in this particular case.

    I hope his neighbours treat him with the contempt he deserves and what they really should do is hold an impromtu cat show in the plainest of sight.

  5. Why worry about cats when wild natural predators are doing the same thing, but only more efficiently. I live in New Zealand and when I first arrived I bought a ferret. I happen to love ferrets. They are vicious, smart and incredibly cute. This is part of my ‘black country’ heritage and a reminder when I used to go ferreting with gramps for rabbits. Tasty if you get them young enough, rabbits that is, not ferrets. Anyway, the NZ government decided to ban ferrets because they said they were decimating the wildlife. Bollocks. Ferrets are tame and only eat small kibble and children.

  6. The local blackbirds seem to know our cat’s name. Whenever they see him instead of their usual warning cry they sit in the branches watching him and calling “Pip, Pip, Pip, Pip.

  7. I don’t have a cat but one has me.

    A large black cat likes my garden. It sleeps on the pergola when trhe sun is on it and keeps the mice under control.

    So far it doesn’t seem to have bothered the sparrows or bluetits.

    I think I’ve been adopted.

    • Cats do that. We have two that just decided to move in. No amount of persuasion convinced them otherwise. Likewise a few years back one of ours decided to move in with a neighbour. What we had to say about it didn’t matter a jot. A cat will do as he pleases and people need to get used to the idea. The insane notion that people control an animal that is at best partly domesticated and is fiercely territorial merely demonstrates the ignorance and stupidity of the person proposing it. You cannot control cats.

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