The Smell of Desperation

Beards. Yup beards. That’s what’s going to lose the Tories the election.

It’s a case of ‘hair yesterday, gone today’ for Tory MPs who are shaving off their beards amid claims they are a ‘turn-off’ for voters.

Ahead of the upcoming general election, Conservative colleagues are said to be advising each other to reach for the razor in a bid to boost their chances.

Home Office minister Chris Philp and senior Conservative backbencher Tim Loughton are among those who have recently gone clean-shaven.

‘Apparently beards are a turn off,’ one senior Tory told the Sun on Sunday.

‘I’ve lost count of the number of times people have said voters are less likely to back you if you have a beard.

If someone votes on the basis of the candidate having a beard or not, they have no business voting. The Tories have betrayed us, allowing thousands of invaders to land on our shores, they have sold us out to an insane cult, they are destroying the fabric of our society and the big issue is beards? Fuck me, we really are in the sewer here.


  1. LR

    I refer the honourable gentleman to the conversation we had some posts ago.

    The electorate eligible to vote needs to be restricted. Severely.

  2. Better a bare faced lier?
    “He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man. He that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.”
    As you like it wisdom and dilemma.

  3. ‘I’ve lost count of the number of times people have said voters are less likely to back you if you have a beard”.

    Particularly if they are a woman or Identify as a woman.

  4. Shave your beard, dress in sack cloth and ashes, and walk barefoot down the High Street repenting your political sins… there may be a sympathy vote. I wouldn’t hold your breath.

  5. Nothing to do with the fact that these clowns, in their arrogance and stupidity, have deliberately and maliciously done real harm to my life, oh no, it’s because I don’t like beards that I hate them. They must think that I’m as stupid as they are. But then the polls suggest that millions want to vote Labour, a party that is in exactly the same mould but even worse.

  6. Perhaps the Tories will not accept votes from men with beards, while the sandal wearing nutters in the Labour, Green, and Lib Dems will welcome them with open arms?
    I did think of voting for the Monster Raving Loony Party, but they are already currently in Government, as well as providing His Majesty’s Loyal(ish) Opposition.

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