Teabag Diplomacy

Yeah, that’ll work.

Britain would be safer if its defence policy was to have “cups of tea” with Isil terrorists rather than bomb them, one of Jeremy Corbyn’s key allies on Labour’s ruling body has said.

Christine Shawcroft, who sits on the party’s National Executive Committee and is a senior figure in Momentum, said that soldiers should “get the teabags out” to solve the Syrian crisis rather than resorting to air strikes.

She claimed the tactic worked on some far-right English Defence League supporters in the past and added: “Cups of tea might actually be the best kind of system of defence and national security that you could have.”

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

4 Comments

  1. Yes, cups of tea might work with Far Right activists because people tend to adopt far right beliefs about Muslims (because that is, lets’ face it, what she’s talking about – Tommy Robinson specifically) as a consequence of seeing their local environment changing in ways which they find confusing and frightening. So on some level, even if they are basically stupid, they can be reasoned with. ISIS on the other hand can’t be reasoned with. They are ideologically driven through religious indoctrination to believe not only that infidels are worse than animals and killing them is a mercy as well as god’s will, but that they are following the absolute word of their god and following the example laid down for them by the prophet in the quran and the hadith. They are entirely comfortable with – indeed it is desirable- dying for the cause and believe that they will be amply rewarded in the afterlife. They aren’t like regular Muslims and don’t just want, like the far right, to see less foreign faces in their towns and cities; they want to see our towns and cities razed to the ground and the occupants murdered as infidel scum; I certainly can’t imagine them implementing a ‘convert or die’ policy in Europe, probably just a ‘quick versus slow death’ policy for those who acquiesce. Their endgame is to bring about the apocalypse. How does one reason with that? Offer them money? They don’t need it – they make a fortune selling oil and gas and through taxation and fines of the people who live under their occupation. The only solution is to kill them all. I’m a pacifist, so it has been a difficult conclusion to come to, but I fear it’s right.

  2. Well why don’t we send Christine Shawcroft to sort it out then. She should be able to carry some tea bags so no one else needs to be put at risk.

  3. Not to drink tea when offered is uncivilised and frankly not British. Muslims are not civilised so the offer of tea will not work. Offer them pre-pubescent girls and they might show some interest.

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